50 Errors That Undoubtedly Lead to Divorce.
- Getting married without being sure of the choice of spouse.
Will Smith’s recent story shows us that when you’re not a woman’s first choice, she may end up destroying your life. This applies equally to women. Will Smith is actually just a second choice, with Tupac Shakur being Jada Smith’s love of her life. If a man doesn’t appeal to you, let him go. Refuse his gifts; he’ll find happiness elsewhere.
Why commit for life when deep down you know that this man/woman is not your first choice? Some say that love comes like appetite, while eating. I believe there are things you shouldn’t force.
Sooner or later, true faces reveal themselves.
- Getting married without taking time in prayer.
I personally paid dearly for this. Marriage is primarily a spiritual matter. Many couples invest in fancy ceremonies, expensive clothes, excellent meals, multi-tiered cakes without serious spiritual preparation beforehand when it comes to their marriage.
Spiritual preparation is what remains and sustains the couple through its various stages of marriage.
- Getting married thinking you can’t live alone.
A weak foundation will always catch up with you.
A man/woman with low self-esteem will think they can’t live alone. I wrongly believed I couldn’t live or take care of myself alone. This lack of self-confidence not only attracted an insecure person like me but also left me in an incredible spiral.
- Getting married with false hopes.
(He/she will change, the situation will improve, he/she will abandon such character…)
Marriage so far has never changed anyone. It rather amplifies characters. If he/she disrespected you in your journey, he/she will do it even more once you’re married. If he/she lied to you, he/she will cheat on you. Wrongly, I thought marriage would calm down my ex-husband’s excessive anger.
Marriage is an amplifier.
- Getting married without real love.
You accept this man’s proposal, knowing deep down that you probably will never love him. You love his money, security, and the privilege of being called Mrs. So-and-so. You may pay a high price for it. Our spouses, like our children, are souls entrusted to us by God and whom we must care for unconditionally. How do you plan to play your role as a helpmate in this man’s life if you don’t love him?
- Getting married without a real purpose.
One fundamental thing I learned, much later, is that we marry for a specific purpose. Too often, the answers on this subject revolve around: ‘I love him/her,’ ‘He/she makes me feel good, understands me.’ Everything is focused on “Me.”
But is that the purpose of marriage?
- Building your marriage on wrong foundations.
The wrong foundations of a marriage could alone constitute an entire book. Emotional wounds and other traumas, premarital sexual relationships, occultism and deliverance issues, “accidental” pregnancies, the physical attraction of your future spouse are all reasons that need to be analyzed beforehand.
- Not knowing or understanding one’s role and limits in the couple.
Woman, know your role and limits in the couple. If you move the boundaries, you will end up frustrated and distorted. God created you to be a help, a manager, not the provider. Your role as a helpmate may occasionally, depending on circumstances, involve contributing, but don’t make it your major role.
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This text is an excerpt from the book “How I Overcame Divorce and Took Control of My Life” written by Flore DJINOU.
We invite you to read the following article “Jumping From One Relationship to Another Without Reflection.”
Errors Before divorce. Mistakes that lead to divorce.
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