It’s hard for a former war-wounded person to believe in love again. Even though she feels it, she thinks about all the worst things that could happen, all the negative possibilities that could arise, so she stays on guard. Her fear that this relationship might also fail is so strong that she forgets to live in the present moment and just enjoy this quality time. She finds it hard to completely let go. He could be a good man, oops!

It would then require too much investment from her that she might not be ready to give because she has not yet intentionally started the healing process. So, she mostly settles for short-term relationships that help her stay in her comfort zone, the one that prevents her from facing the dark side left by unhealed emotional wounds. She has somewhat gotten used to it, she has married these wounds “until death do them part”. Laugh!

If she has experienced her childhood without a father, she finds it seriously difficult to trust men. At the slightest difficulty, she runs away, distances herself, doesn’t face the problem. I look at these children who grow up without a father because the fathers did not want to play their role as fathers. Others simply didn’t have the chance. Others made the mother suffer so much, they mostly didn’t keep their promise. So to take revenge, the mother decided to deprive their daughter of her father…

The long-term consequence is the unconscious creation of a future war-wounded person. It’s hard to admit, but the absence of a father in a girl’s life causes far more damage than single mothers could imagine. I haven’t experienced it personally. I had the grace to grow up with a responsible and loving father. If my father hadn’t been there, many aspects of my emotional balance would have taken a hit. I celebrate all these loving and responsible fathers in passing who will read this book!

In my closest circle, I live daily with single mothers. Most of my sisters, nieces, cousins are single mothers. It’s already hard enough for them to raise their child alone, without a father. And this child who grows up with their mother’s love, who sometimes suffers from their mother’s wounds, remember, unhealed emotional wounds are like STDs, they are emotionally transmissible to our children…

Unconsciously, she risks repeating the same pattern, entering into relationships not with healthy mental dispositions: not that of giving but rather of receiving the love she didn’t get from her father. This predisposition presents risks of emotional dependency, or of easily falling into toxic relationships, or not being able to maintain relationships because the masculine side is too strong and pronounced (I won’t let anyone walk over me, never! easy girl, it’s not the strongest who wins in a healthy relationship, lol) etc…

I would like to address a single mother, if there is one. Far from me the idea of judging, and of attaching stereotypes to you, society already puts enough pressure on you in this regard. I would just like to invite you to consider this aspect and take it into account when choosing who will be the father figure for your child tomorrow. I hear you say: It’s my child, I wanted to have it because age was advancing, we don’t need him to get by. So be it! Except that: Behind, the absence of the father is a fact and it risks causing enormous damage in the relationships your daughter will have with men tomorrow if you don’t heal to give her a good foundation and prevent her from repeating the same cycle.

This was a parenthesis that I felt in my heart to open while writing this part. Well, these days, GOD makes me feel the pain, and the strong emotions of young single women, probably so that I use my writing talent to highlight it and soothe your pure hearts that life’s circumstances have wounded. Be soothed my sisters and know that I carry you in my heart. I love you but there is someone who loves you even more: your creator!

To these men who will read me, the greatness of a man is his ability to keep his promises, take responsibility, and even his mistakes to the end. When you abandon a child, a daughter for example, you unconsciously create an unbalanced woman who will reproduce unbalanced relationships tomorrow. You are our Kings, and Kings don’t abandon their children. They don’t get involved with women if they are not ready to maintain the flame of a love they have ignited. They refuse to have unprotected relationships with women when they are not ready to assume the arrival of a child.

Now that I have shared with you, woman, man, these strong emotions, I close the parenthesis and continue this magnificent masterpiece. Ready? Here we go. Take a good sip of your fruit juice and we continue the journey!…

This text is an excerpt from the book “COLLECTION OF A WOUNDED WEAR!” written by Suzanne KWEDI.

We invite you to read the following article “THE IDEAL MAN”.

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