As if God awaited me at a crossroads.
“On that day, the Lord will punish with his sword—his fierce, great and powerful sword—Leviathan the gliding serpent, Leviathan the coiling serpent; he will slay the monster of the sea.” (Isaiah 9:1)
Last month, driven by my desires, I had fallen, committing an act that, according to Christ, is an abomination. My whole being followed my flesh, and I found myself desiring sin. I do not know by what grace I emerged from it. Afterward, I felt emptied. I was not alone. Adultery had been desired, committed, and consummated three times. And then, the abomination.
I realized how fragile I was. As Christ had told me in my calling, I was not yet ready. Once again, for the umpteenth time, I fell into the sin of fornication. How can one be free from sin forever? I believed to be completely and definitively freed from sin after my confessions. I had been consumed by sin in thought for a long time; the act was just a culmination, but it should have remained in thought.
After confessing my sin to the Lord and acknowledging it openly before my sons, the sin still lingered within me. While battling it in spirit through prayer, I felt compelled to fast in intercession for a paralytic for three days.
A few days ago, as the Lord began speaking to me continuously each day, I had a dream. I was above a massive, deep, and endless black hole. This hole was the lair of an indescribable serpent. It was not very aggressive, had no venom, but seemed very agile and dangerous. It had the ability to produce small serpents in split seconds. If the small serpent touched me even lightly, it would be over for me. I avoided both the large serpent and the elusive, almost flying small serpents it produced every nanosecond. Between the space of the serpents and me, there was a furnace filled with burning embers. I was above the furnace, and the serpent’s lair was below. I do not know by what grace the large serpent was pushed into the great black hole with its offspring, and the furnace descended lower, sealing the hole. This happened after I managed to avoid the elusive, almost flying small serpent.
Upon waking that day, the Spirit led me to pray fervently, to confess again, and to renounce the adulterous life. Adultery was my father’s sin. I feared that it would become an iniquity. Thus, in spirit, I revisited all the girls I had known, separating myself sexually, emotionally, and spiritually from them. As I prayed, the Spirit whispered to me that this spirit was on my sons, and I had to pray to break the spirit of adultery that day at our gathering.
The next day, at the Sunday meeting, there were six of us. I spoke to them about the dream and what the Spirit had instructed me during prayer. To my surprise, when I asked who felt affected by the adulterous spirit, all five agreed to come forward and kneel, and I prayed for them.
I remembered that a brother in the faith had called me in my sleep to inform me that he saw one of my daughters planning to abort, even though I had already started the ministry. He emphasized, “Call all your sons and daughters, let them renounce abortion. If they abort, there will be death.”
When I contacted this brother, he told me that in the vision, I was already at an advanced level in my ministry; it was a great ministry, he added. I understood that any sin I committed would sooner or later have consequences on the body.
Teaching on the food of the body and the kingdom instructed me first. Christ had just defeated Leviathan, the spirit I had also encountered in the mother of my firstborn son, whose sole purpose was to hinder, destroy, and annihilate my ministry. Thus, I decided to plan a seven-day fast without food to entrust my wife, the one who would accompany me in the ministry, as it would depend on her too.
Lord, have mercy! Christ, have mercy! Do not leave me! Fight and act for me. Walk before me and my sons until the end of time. Spirit of Leviathan, you are defeated! To the cross, we go!
- Liberated from bad associations !
“No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. Otherwise, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins.” (Luke 6:36-38)
For years, for the past four years, after parting ways with my fiancée who had entered a convent, I sought a wife. Most of the time, I associated with girls who were not ready to embrace my calling, let alone my ministry. I tore myself apart and had to learn to sew myself back together. Colette, the mother of my firstborn son, paid the highest price. The others were broken.
So, I will only marry the mother of my firstborn son under three conditions: that she be born again, that she accepts my calling, and that she marries my ministry, our ministry. The same goes for anyone who wishes to share my life, for there, in the service, lies our place.
Yesterday, I committed to knowing my wife only in marriage. May the woman I marry tomorrow remain undiscovered by me before marriage! This is my next vow to the Lord, after the one thousand Gospel tracts that will be fulfilled before the end of the sixth month of the year 2020.
I must answer my calling, humble myself, and fight to be worthy of serving it. In a few days, I will undertake a seven-day fast for the grace of marriage at the time set by God. May He reveal to me and draw to me the woman of my destiny! Then, a twenty-one-day fast in the sixth month will follow to enter into the blessing of my calling.
It has been over three months since I meditated on the Holy Scriptures. My last meditation on the Word dates back to February 9th. Every time I devoted less time, little time, or none at all to meditation, I sank into sin in spirit and then in action.
I had started meditating on the entire book of Luke, which bears the fruit of the prayers of the servant. Escape from destiny? It is between yesterday morning and this morning that I crucified in spirit and in action the sin of the flesh. All panicked to confess again before my sons on Sunday morning at our fifth meeting, God showed me in prayer the physical consequences of my adultery. I asked myself, how not to sin out of fear of the law but out of love for the Creator? It was the only way to be freed from adulterous sin to its source.
Escape from destiny? When meditating, I had to face Matthew 5:27-28, quoting Exodus 20:14 regarding adultery. I began to tremble. A spirit seized me, and I had one of my longest biblical meditations since I started meditating. 1 hour and 40 minutes. I would like to break this record as soon as possible. Leviathan has been defeated. Had God planned for me to spend these three months empty, in sin, until I truly returned to Him?
Sin was rooted in me despite my conversion. Only vigilance in fasting and prayer preserves us from stumbling. This elusive and playful Spirit that disturbed my parents, ancestors, and brothers, I conquer it today, this month, this year. In the name of Jesus Christ! Never again, by any means, will I know a girl before marriage. I said it a few days ago, and I fell into sin the next day. This time, I say it again so that the Lord fights for me, against these powers, dominions, principalities. Let Him enlist me in His army, and I will take the lead on earth as St. Michael does in heaven.
The aggressiveness with which the girls with whom I committed adultery over this period responded to me was a sign that something happened in heaven. Satan is a wicked liar. I only dream of defeating him. He absolutely must be defeated. How many ministries destroyed, how many missions failed, how many homes divided, how many families in ruins, how many souls in hell because of the sins of the flesh, especially sex. Lord, grant me the grace of fidelity. Solomon asked for the grace of wisdom. I want to be faithful to you as you have been faithful to me. Lord, clothe me with the mantle of fidelity, which is what my generation needs most in these end times.
This text is an excerpt from the book “BACK AND BACK: For the release of families in captivity ” written by Jean-Paul Marie, Pastor Samuel Binyou.