A bitter person squanders their abilities. Their beauty is veiled, and their qualities are hidden by the extent of their iniquity.

An orthodontist had a beautiful practice; he was also an international speaker and trainer. His father was a retired dentist, and they were very close. From a young age, the orthodontist saw his father as his hero and role model. They shared a passion for conferences and dental care and regularly vacationed together. Every quarter, they would organize and attend conferences around the world.

One day, while returning from a conference, they were attacked in their car, and the father was killed. This devastated the orthodontist, who lost both a best friend and a mentor in his father. Since justice never found the culprits, the orthodontist harbored anger, desperately sought revenge, and eventually became bitter and alcoholic.

As he constantly replayed the crime scene, he began to hallucinate and experience sleepwalking episodes. After several suicide attempts, he was institutionalized, lost his license, and his prestigious practice. This man had everything to be happy: a wife, children, and a successful career.

He was considered by his peers to be a genius in orthodontics, but following a tragic event, bitterness overwhelmed him, and he met a tragic end. We all have unique abilities and qualities that are useful for the advancement of society. These are diverse talents that correspond to the needs of humanity.

However, bitterness can be a barrier to exercising our expertise. My pastor once told me that I had the potential to be a great leader, but my bitterness was blocking that potential. People say I have the gift of oratory, the eloquence of a preacher, a professor. Many confirm seeing in me the profile of a counselor or even a speaker with natural charisma and the pen of a poet.

However, I had a flaw that was an insurmountable barrier: arrogance. This obsessive desire to be in the spotlight and this thirst for recognition. I couldn’t stand reprimand. I was like a sore loser who saw criticism as a defeat, an embarrassment.

When emotional wounds are not treated, they create a handicap in us, like an inferiority complex, a lack of self-esteem, which becomes a brake on our potential. Another quality attributed to me is that I am sociable, hospitable, and a good listener. Therefore, within my circle, whether at church, at work, or elsewhere, people confide in me a lot.

However, I always do my best not to judge but rather to provide both physical and spiritual support. I like to lift others from the bottom up, push them beyond their limits, and motivate them to reach their goals through my empathy and dedication to serving others.

Nevertheless, despite these qualities, my flaws harmed my relationships with others. I was very hot-tempered, with an oversized ego. There was a calamity within me that only those close to me could perceive. People who knew me only on the surface did not see this sensitive side of me. They greatly appreciated me and rather praised me for my qualities.

What is certain is that I realize that talent attracts honors, but character reveals who we are; talent draws attention, but good character maintains relationships. Society has long made us believe that intelligence and the number of degrees are essential elements for success.

Intellectual level is certainly useful, but it has been scientifically proven that emotional intelligence is much more valuable than intellectual intelligence. Psychology even affirms that emotional intelligence is a determining factor for a fulfilling and successful life. Bitterness is a state of emotional weakness that affects our qualities.

In school, some teachers said I had high potential, but I was an aggressive student. I was even expelled from all the schools I attended for violence against other students, which meant I didn’t even obtain my high school diploma. For years, I didn’t make any progress. I had goals, but my life was mediocre.

In general, a bitter person is idle. They spend so much time dwelling on the wrongs they’ve suffered or plotting revenge. They are consumed by evil since they are slaves to their pain and prisoners of their resentment. They expend all their energy on negativity. As a result, they have so little positive energy left. They may have projects, ambitions, but they get nowhere. They go in circles. They are stuck. Their life is a disaster, a succession of failures. Their productivity does not match their potential. And that’s exactly what was happening to me.

My mind was like a record of offenses instead of being a creative instrument. My heart held so many wounds, which caused so many doubts. Consequently, I had no self-confidence.

Now, I realize that bitterness simply prevented me from deploying my various talents and putting my knowledge to the service of others. Bitterness also prevented me from flourishing, shining, and achieving my dreams. It affected my creativity, my positive energy.

And it was an obstacle to my performance and growth. It extinguished any glimmer, any splendor in me that was supposed to make me shine. But I was like filled with a dark mass inside me. A plague was invading me, representing a brake on the development of my potential and a barrier on the path of my destiny…

This text is an excerpt from the book “Bitterness Killed Me, Forgiveness Gave Me Life” written by Josué WANYA.

We invite you to read the following article “NOURISHING SOUL“.