Complicity is a crucial element that allows a romantic relationship to endure and especially to face life’s uncertainties. One can quickly feel comfortable in someone’s company during initial encounters without becoming complicit. Some enter into serious relationships without deepening their connection by considering the ingredients mentioned below. When I agreed to get engaged to Michel, there was already a certain friendship between us, and despite the distance created by his departure for his university studies in Germany, he made sure to send me some photos of himself so that I could share his world, even though he was physically absent.

He even went as far as sending me a photo of his trip with an ex-fiancée. These actions created a real bond between us years later when we decided to share the rest of our lives together. The attitudes he had in the past testify to the friendship and complicity that existed between him and me.

Once together, our love became resilient in the face of certain upheavals. Seven elements help build this complicity in love, elements that the love bandit will not bring you at all. These elements will also reassure you in your romantic relationship.

a- Sharing values.

Values ​​can be understood as attributes and perceptions that a person shares with members of their social, cultural, and religious group; these values ​​are considered perfect and make beings or behaviors desirable and estimable. For two people to be complicit in love, they need to share certain values ​​that will strengthen their love.

It should be noted that values ​​are not acquired simply because one has met someone with whom they want to spend the rest of their days, or during the period of the relationship. Values ​​are a lifestyle that one imposes on oneself and remains faithful to, regardless of the person one deals with and the situations over time.

b- Sharing the same faith.

Faith, beliefs are often obstacles, brakes, or compasses in romantic relationships. It helps to strengthen complicity because there is a sharing of the same opinions that will create less tension in a romantic relationship. It is important to agree on this subject before committing long term. Differences of opinion and ways of doing things on a religious level can affect and play on the health of a couple. One may not kneel to pray, another may not believe in a certain way of proceeding. All this creates tensions in the long term, especially when adding the education of children.

c- Sharing leisure activities.

Deciding to love and inviting someone into one’s life also means taking an interest in what excites the person. One must be interested in what they like in order to be closer to them. Do they like football, basketball, or another game? Time should be found to watch this person play. Do they enjoy outings with friends, restaurants, or any other leisure activity?

If they like watching movies or dancing, one should participate, accompany them, and even try dancing, even if not a good dancer. It’s nice to have company when you want to go dancing. It’s more romantic when there’s interference during a dance session for two. If the person engages in any activity, one should share and research on the internet to know how to be interesting during exchanges.

d- The ability to recognize one’s mistakes.

A strong relationship is one where both people are imbued with humility or gestures that prove their mea culpa or demonstrate regret when one has hurt the other. Recognizing one’s mistakes builds trust and boosts love in a relationship. A love bandit and a narcissist will always let you know that if there is a conflict, it’s your fault. They will always belittle and blame you even though they are at fault.

When my friend Pauline was still married, she told me that her ex-husband always accused her and couldn’t admit his mistakes. If he ever cheated, he would say it was her fault that he cheated. Sometimes because his job was demanding, she ended up doing all the household chores. He could complain that she had raised her voice during their last quarrel, and that it had saddened him a lot, which is why he had weakened and cheated on her.

This man always had solid excuses for his bad deeds to be justified. That’s how he managed to make Pauline feel guilty. Someone who is not humble very quickly becomes a monster in…

This text is an excerpt from the book “THE BANDITS IN LOVE” written by Elisabeth Bell.

We invite you to read the following article “STUDY ON THE LOVE BANDIT“.