Based on my personal experience, the first thing I did was start seeing the prejudices, derogatory remarks, and societal stereotypes as they are: what others think of me. I understood that what I think of myself and the situation I’m currently in will determine my level of detachment from what others think, my level of freedom, fulfillment, and even success. This applies to all areas of life.

What matters most is what I believe in and how convinced I am of it. I practiced giving less credit and credibility to what belittled me or made me feel out of place. I worked hard to develop my mindset and change my approach during my single period:

• Being single is the time or opportunity to correct the course and make the right choice;
• It’s the period where you can perfect yourself and become the best version of yourself;
• It’s the time when you have two assets: more availability and time, so use it wisely;
• Being single up to a certain age does not diminish your value; the value of a human being does not depreciate over time;
• Being single at a certain age is not a fatality, embrace your singleness with pride without pretension;
• You can be single, free, and fulfilled;
• While single, you can work on being a wealthy (future) spouse, thus attracting what resembles you;
• There is only one special person just for you: what about the widow who remarries?
• God will give your heart to someone who deserves it, provided you collaborate with Him and walk according to His ways and principles while waiting for divine marriage. Half-obedience does not apply here, obeying when it suits us and disobeying when it doesn’t; huh!
• You will meet the right person when God’s time has come: in the meantime, those who sleep with everyone, or those who are always in passive waiting, I wonder if this applies to them.
• He will give you a good spouse: are you a good spouse for him?

We don’t want what everyone else would refuse; we want something different from others. If men take the time to observe before deciding, why not women? Why rush when we have to choose who to spend the rest of our lives with? Everyone has the right to want what is best for them and take the time to ensure that this is the case. Men want the same thing, to observe and make sure they are making the right choice. Don’t rush her; no one rushed you to come to us. Huh, Suzanne, is this then revenge?!, lol!

Practice stopping these 7 things:

1. Feeling Guilty: The feeling of guilt can silently kill us and cause enormous emotional damage. Stop feeling guilty about others’ choices (breakup, rejection) or your current situation. Engage in a developmental approach. Often, when we feel stuck and guilty, it’s a sign that there is work to be done on ourselves.
2. Resentment: This is being angry at everyone who has left us before. I now see it as a correspondence that didn’t work out, and I look at what I can improve on my end to make the next correspondence richer. Let’s not forget that “a failure is feedback” of an aspect that escaped us and that we can correct. Every relationship is either a blessing or a life lesson you draw from!
3. Being Fake: Stop playing a character you are not to be accepted by others. This simply conveys the image of a person who ignores or underestimates their intrinsic value to others: an important person in the eyes of their creator, unique, endowed with potential and talents that only need to be developed and serve the world. (…)

This text is an excerpt from the book “Beautiful, Intelligent and … Single?” written by Suzanne KWEDI.

We invite you to read the next article “Alone in a Relationship For Two…“

Mindset about being single. Mindset about being single. Mindset about being single