Some invisible wounds can take deep root in our souls and coexist with us if no action is taken to heal them. Among the five soul wounds (abandonment, humiliation, betrayal, injustice), rejection, according to some psychologists and other behavioral experts, is considered the deepest wound. A person suffering from rejection undervalues themselves. They are in constant search of recognition, at any cost. This is the so-called ambivalent characteristic of the wound of rejection because this need for recognition is very difficult to satisfy.

Rejection is a deep emotional wound caused by difficult experiences, significant losses, and recurring negative events. As a reminder, I find it pertinent to present the different soul wounds and their characteristics.

Abandonment wound: Seeking attention from others, emotionally dependent, fear of loneliness, difficulty accepting refusal, fear of the future.

Humiliation wound: Low self-esteem, tendency towards emotional hypersensitivity, feelings of guilt, tendency towards isolation.

Betrayal wound: Need to assert one’s personality, inflexible and intolerant, tendency towards aggressiveness to make oneself heard, need for control, inability to question oneself, tendency towards mental manipulation to achieve goals.

Injustice wound: Inability to express emotions, inflexible and distant, dreads authority, inspires admiration on the surface, perfectionist tendencies. Now, let’s dissect the wound of rejection.

Rejection wound: The wound of rejection manifests differently depending on individuals’ personalities. Regardless, what we must remember is that the deeper the wound of rejection, the higher the probability of being rejected or rejecting others. In reality, we must not ignore that as long as we live in constant interaction with each other, we will not be spared from rejection. We are all inherently programmed to seek each other’s approval.

This phenomenon often occurs without our awareness because this quest for validation becomes problematic when it becomes a necessity. As individuals, we all need to be appreciated and accepted by others. I have identified two typical characteristics of the rejection wound depending on personalities: one (harmless) and the other (aggressive).

The so-called “harmless” characteristic manifests as a tendency to withdraw, emotional dependence, fear of conflict, tendency to flee, fear of asking for help, being overly nice even when in disagreement, inability to say no, reluctance to give one’s opinion. The so-called “aggressive” characteristic manifests as anger, aggressiveness, resentment, bitterness, acrimony, envy, jealousy, tendency towards conflict, contempt, rejection of authority, to name just a few.

It must be affirmed, however, that there exists a kind of paradox around soul wounds that I have observed: one wound can hide another. The wound of rejection leads to the collapse of two core pillars of the ego, self-esteem, and self-confidence. Rejection is inhumane, frustrating, and contemptuous.

This text is an excerpt from the book “UNSHAKABLE! Breaking and Healing Destructive Patterns of the Rejection Wound” written by Jennifer SYLAIRE.

We invite you to read the following article “IDENTIFYING THE REJECTION WOUND”.