You must learn to create a breaches in his wall with respect and gentleness. When you feel he is starting to push back on himself, hold back your blows and automatically introspect.

Check if the tone of your voice has exceeded the tolerated decibel threshold. Check if your words haven’t been hurtful while trying to expose your truth. Check if the chosen moment to speak is not inappropriate.

Check… Then, accept that he withdraws for a moment. It’s not necessarily against you. He needs his space to reflect alone. And if he doesn’t take the step to come back to you, approach him with a different attitude, the palms of your hands open, indicating that you come unarmed.

Move on. And when the opportunity arises and you feel him more relaxed, ask him the question: “Earlier when I spoke to you, I felt you closed up. Did I disrespect you in my words or my way of expressing myself ?

Be humble and be quick to ask for forgiveness if necessary. Show your husband that he can trust you, even in his vulnerability. Give him the space and time he needs and trust him and God to come out refreshed.


This text is an excerpt from the book “Love it and Respect it” written by Teddy NGBANDA.

We invite you to read the following article “DEAR WIFE, NOW IT’S NOW YOUR TURN TO FUEL HIS “PRIVATE SPACE” OXYGEN!“.


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