1- Loss of self-esteem.

This state is often very regrettable, especially when facing someone who has all the ingredients for happiness but lacks confidence and reassurance. Self-esteem is lost when one has been mistreated, belittled in love with or without reason. The victim blames themselves for one reason or another for the failure of the relationship. This is the trap one must not fall into.

That’s why it’s important to know who you are and what you’re worth before engaging in a romantic relationship. This would prevent confusion because the love bandit aboard your heart aims to destabilize you and make you lose your bearings. Knowing one’s Christian identity also helps, as the Christian, relying on the Bible, will confess according to Jeremiah 29:11:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.“

A strengthened Christian must always remember their identity, and the fact that God cares about their peace and future. During these times, one must rebuild mentally to regain self-confidence and work on the spiritual and physical aspects. This includes opening up to reading, talking, embracing new encounters and opportunities, and changing one’s appearance if necessary. In short, striving to live again!

2- Abortion.

Girls who sometimes realize too late that they were the only ones involved in a romantic relationship involving pregnancy often want to get rid of it quickly. I often tell young girls not to be open books in love, or not to give all the advantages of married women to a man with whom they are not sure of tomorrow. It is then important to practice the PIEE formula developed below.

Eunice found herself in a complex relationship with a married man who had made her understand that he was separated from his wife and intended to marry her. During their relationship, she became pregnant, but for some reason, this gentleman, father of four children born of his marriage, did not want to hear anything and forced her to have an abortion. Later, she had difficulties conceiving. Should she ally herself with someone who had promised to marry her and had not done so years later?

Sometimes, some young girls find themselves doing things they would never have imagined doing because of a bad sentimental choice. Someone who does not respect your values in a romantic relationship is likely to make you see and do the unimaginable, or more than what you are already doing. Generally, when a love bandit has accustomed you to practices that are frowned upon by your surroundings, it becomes difficult to oppose him or let him go because you have become accustomed to it.

3- Abandonment of dreams, projects, studies.

Bad encounters in love can also lead to changing trajectory. One can abandon their university project when the love bandit wants to meet you during class hours. Very quickly, the lack of interest in the essential or important thing sets in. And by no longer giving energy and time to one’s project or studies, one ends up giving up.

That’s why it’s important to avoid people who do not make your success their priority. Once married to Michel, I went back to school even though I was pregnant with our first daughter. I needed to raise my academic level. He would drop me off at the campus and pick me up after class. A real sign of attention, as he had made my studies a priority. Unfortunately, this was not the case for Léontine, who wanted to separate after 20 years of marriage from her husband Blaise with whom she had a bad marriage. Ridicule, contempt, and domestic violence were her daily lot. Having recovered from a severe depression that lasted nearly five years, she said to herself that she had to end this marriage.

She regretted her choice, not forgetting that no project could be realized in this marriage. Her husband was only concerned about his social success…

This text is an excerpt from the book “THE BANDITS IN LOVE” written by Elisabeth Bell.

We invite you to read the following article “Building Complicity“.