Léa never stopped competing with her sister for Jacob’s love. She spent her whole life chasing after him. Although few people admit it, I believe many of us have been like Léa at one point or another. In love or friendship, we have accepted far less than we deserve. We have diminished our own worth out of fear of being left out. We have settled for things as they were and given up because of life’s hardships.

Léa was trapped in the cycle of emotional dependence. She kept running after Jacob, seeking from him a love she would never receive.

To heal from emotional dependence, it is essential to discover the true source of love. Until now, you may have believed that love comes from those around you, but that is a mistake. If you chase after human love first, you will constantly be disappointed and will likely find yourself making compromises. Instead, discover Christ’s love for you. He has loved you more than you love yourself! He gave His life for you, without any guarantee of a return on investment.

“But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.“ – Romans 5:8

Seek the baptism of love from the Holy Spirit, which will fill you beyond measure. This love will make you a strong and balanced woman. It is not something to be explained—it is something to be experienced. Receive the revelation of God’s love!

“God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.“ – Romans 5:5b

It is also important to change the scale by which you measure your worth. In this world, people determine someone’s value by their possessions, social status, talent, beauty, achievements, assets, popularity, influence, and other superficial external factors. We need a true renewal of our mindset to understand that our worth is not determined by any of these things.

In reality, we have done nothing to earn it. It was given to us freely. From the moment of our creation, without any personal effort, God granted us this worth as a gift.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.“ – John 3:16

Take the necessary steps to break free. Identify past patterns. Is it your family background? A painful failure that was difficult to overcome? A distorted self-perception? A deep and seemingly insatiable need for love? The Holy Spirit can open your eyes to see things as they truly are…

This text is an excerpt from the book “I AM LIKE HER” written by Nadine Kabuya.

We invite you to read the next article “HOW TO RECOVER FROM TRAUMA“.