The rejection character manifests through several symptoms. It is important to know and identify them in order to eradicate it from our lives or to help a loved one. Without awareness of the wounds of rejection in our hearts, we will manifest a rejection character and we will not be able to act on it or heal these wounds. Some people spend their whole lives with this rejection character, even after being born again. Here are the most common signs of a rejection character that can be found in a person:

✓ Avoidant behaviors: In adult life, a manifest sign of a rejection character is the establishment of avoiding or fleeing behaviors by the person. Indeed, they are so afraid of being rejected that they refuse to engage in relationships and to attach to anyone. This is a defense mechanism. The individual who suffers from this wound will therefore establish a lot of distance between themselves and others, but also regarding their own needs, which they do not take care of.

Denial is very common, as is fleeing, both towards oneself and towards others. The person tends to fade away and reject anything that might put them in emotional and affective danger. Similarly, they express a constant fear of bothering others and therefore prefer to do everything by themselves out of fear of rejection; which leads them to never express their needs and to exhaust themselves. This psychic mechanism is generally accompanied by another that allows them to hide who they are: the social mask.

✓ A social mask: The rejection character often adorns itself with a mask. Sometimes referred to as the fleeing mask. It’s another defense mechanism that allows the individual to escape reality without being entirely themselves. There are two scenarios:

➢ The first is that the person will implement strategies to have a semblance of belonging, so they will adapt their behavior according to situations, so that people appreciate and love them. But eventually, the person no longer knows who they truly are. The social mask harms because it becomes too heavy to bear and the individual never expresses who they really are.

➢ The second is related to the fact that the person with a rejection character struggles to invest in relationships. This prevents them from creating bonds, being authentic, and present in interactions with others. Thus, they may sometimes adopt neutral positions, or even refrain from expressing their opinion and quickly feel guilty due to lack of confidence.

By always going unnoticed, staying safe in their shell, the person becomes almost transparent due to lack of assertion: they are there physically, but not at all involved in the relationship. After a while of wearing this disguise, their identity becomes blurred. It is very difficult for the person to know who they truly are because they spend a lot of time doing things for others, getting to know their needs, and responding to them. But they rarely respect their own. Wearing this mask constantly in contact with others involves a heavy mental burden, which generally leads to anxiety disorders.

✓ Chronic anxiety: it’s a state of constant, difficult to control, and enduring worry. Anxiety disorders are common in cases of rejection character. This emotional wound makes the person feel constantly attacked by others when they dare to express themselves. They are easily destabilized, especially when things do not go the way they would like. By constantly self-sabotaging out of fear of rejection and anticipating every situation, every encounter, every event, anxieties become increasingly present in daily life. The danger is that gradually, the person will withdraw even more into themselves and isolate themselves as much as possible from others.

✓ Isolation: The person with a rejection character sometimes withdraws socially to avoid suffering. A feeling of loneliness then becomes very present and reinforces the individual in beliefs related to…

This text is an excerpt from the book “Overcoming the Spirit of Rejection” written by Jules NDANGA.

We invite you to read the following article “WHAT IS THE SPIRIT OF REJECTION“.