Fredrick K. C. Price said, “Marriage is a divine ordinance. Without marriage as a divine ordinance, you cannot have a family. You may have a group of people living in the same house, but you cannot have a family. You will have a living arrangement, but not godly relationships.”

In other words, if there is no marriage, there can be no family, because there is a decent order and process to follow in establishing a family. The Bible admonishes this:

Let all things be done decently and in order.” 1 Corinthians 14:40

The marriage relationship, though essential to the family unit, differs from family relationship. Let’s see how.

Firstly, marriage is between two parties, man and woman, husband and wife. It is between two people of the opposite sex only. It is important to make this point very clear here, especially in these “modern” days of” same sex marriages”. Even though same sex marriages may be acceptable to the society, it is not acceptable to God. For: “… Male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27). “Therefore shall a man …cleave unto his wife…” (Genesis 2:24).

Notice the words “male”, “female”, “man”, and “wife” in the above scriptures. These all point to two people of the opposite sex, not same sex. God is a God of details.

To have God’s kind of marriage, things must be done His own way. Following the crowd and doing what everybody else is doing can never make for success in marriage. Caution! Caution!! Caution!!! God warns in His Word:

…Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate (homosexuals), nor abusers of themselves with mankind … shall inherit the kingdom of Go.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

To go against the one be bro it i to again you! The scriptures cannot be broken. To attempt to break scriptures is to be broken in tie. Those who make light of God’s Word are naturally victims in life. The family on the other hand involves at least two, and eventually more people.

Secondly, marriage is a covenant, resulting in a fusion, a blending, and a lifelong relationship between one man and one woman. The husband and wife relationship is established by covenant.

Marriage is not just a good idea; it is God’s idea. God instituted it, it is divine. It is not a cultural thing, but a scriptural thing. It is not a product of man’s arrangement, but God’s arrangement.

A family tie, however, is a common ancestral or associational bond resulting in a connecting cord between the individuals within that same family. Its existence is not necessarily by their own volition. That is, you really have no say in deciding which family to belong to.

And Judah said unto his brethren… he is our brother and our flesh…” Genesis 37:26-27

Thirdly, marriage is by choice; each party chooses to become bonded. In a family, however, each member is bonded as a result of their common ancestry, whether or not they choose to. In Genesis 28:2, Isaac told Jacob his son:

Arise, go to Padan-aram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother’s father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother’s brother.

The marriage relationship in which you find yourself is a product of your choice, and choices are so important. To a great extent, they determine the flavour of our lives.

On the other hand, the family into which you are born is not a product of your choice. The relationship between children and parents is established by birth. You do not choose who your father or mother would be before you are born. Or did you? You cannot change your father, neither can you change your mother.

Nonetheless, the good news is that God never makes mistakes. Whatever family you are born into is not accidental; God did it on purpose, and it is for your good. Don’t ever wish you were born into another family. The family into which you are born is the best for you to fulfil your reason for existence. Get excited!

You are born in the due season.

I am born into a family of 10: eight children, with me as the sixth. So divinely positioned by God, I am so grateful to Him for that. We are all born again and Spirit filled. Oh, what a sweet place to belong! Each of us eight children are now grown and mature. We have al left home, are married, and are now building our own families.

Don’t ever despise the family into which you were born.

No matter the challenges there, God might have sent you there for such a time as this. As you handle those challenges effectively, you will emerge a champion.

Fourthly, marriage is the foundation for the family. A marriage is entered into by choice, and then grows into a family unit. The principles that keep the marriage standing, must flow into the lifestyle of family members.

This is because in a marriage, an individual makes a choice for him/herself. But in establishing a family, the individual is bringing loved ones and more individuals together, to partake of the either healthy environment created or painful experiences being endured /Genesis 47:9). Marriage and family is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. In her testimony, Mrs. Ubom said,

“I lived with a plague of marital tension for seventeen and half years; no permanent peace, no joy. It started right from after our wedding. I noticed it was like a plague. I came to know the Lord, and He brought me to this place. I contacted the Word of God and told God that I couldn’t live with this marital tension.

To the glory of the Lord, in January the Bishop talked about marriage dedication. Surprisingly, my husband said, ‘What do you think about it?’ I told him that we should go for it. Since that day (January 26th, 1997), to the glory of God, I’m free from tension!”

Living as a Family

After marriage comes the marital life or the life experience of a couple. They no more live like single individuals. Changes have occurred and are still occurring. Each party has to now consider his/her partner and not only him/herself.

After the marriage, children are added (either by birth or adoption) and additional parties (related either by blood or association) come into the home. A family is then established. Families are products of marriages.

One leads to the other.

Family

A family is a group of people affiliated by blood and / or marriage. It is the central unit of the Church and a nation. It is a fundamental social group in society, typically consisting of a man and woman (known as husband and wife and their offspring.

Whereas, a family consists of a group of persons sharing common ancestry, marriage consists of a man and a woman, known as husband and wife, who share common goals and values, have a long-term commitment to one another and live together.

Family Life

Family life is the manner of living of a group of people who share common ancestry. It is the manner of living in a household, the manner of living of a group of people affiliated by blood and marriage. It is the way in which parents, children, and close relations live.

Incidentally, no individual on earth, whether married or single, dropped from heaven. Everyone on earth, young or old, rich or poor, male or female, black or white, came from one family or another, from one lineage or another, are connected to one person or the other genetically or by association. Issues on family and family life, therefore, affect everyone on earth….

This text is an extract from the book “BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL FAMILY” written by Faith A. Oyedepo
We invite you to read the following article “THE FAMILY STRUCTURE“.

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