What is the current state of your relationship? Are you going through a crisis right now? Do the following statements best describe your current situation as a couple? If so, the book you are holding in your hands will help you overcome these issues and start anew. Here are a few statements that will help you identify your situation and take action:

1. Our union is satisfying at the moment, but we still want to improve our love.
2. We have never experienced true love, not even at the beginning of our marriage.
3. Honestly, I no longer love my spouse.
4. My spouse is indifferent.
5. Our marital situation is disastrous.
6. I no longer trust him/her. I feel unsafe in my own home.

If you are going through a similar situation, do not lose hope. Remember the Word of God, which says: “Strengthen yourselves in the Lord” and “Fear nothing,” for the rod and staff of the Good Shepherd are there to comfort you. The God we serve is capable of rebuilding from ruins. A new beginning is always possible. We will attempt to communicate God’s thoughts through this book, and we pray that God intervenes in the life of every family where love is lacking.

A Decisive Moment
Since it involves several risks that can devastate families and be passed down from generation to generation, a love crisis requires a positive decision. Indeed, human beings always develop a defense mechanism in the face of imminent danger. When facing a crisis, thoughtful or instinctive measures naturally arise, in one direction or another.

In society, there are already pre-established reactions to various situations. These are so deeply ingrained in our cultures that they become part of our human habits and endure over time. When Abraham felt threatened as Sarah’s husband, he had to lie to Pharaoh. Curiously, his son Isaac did the same before Abimelech with Rebecca.

However, the prodigal son went through a moment of situation analysis, self-evaluation, and made the most important decision of his life: to return to his father. In the crisis that Anne experienced, Elkanah decided to give her a double portion to show her more love, but she was unable to receive it, so mortified was her heart.

Dear readers, know that there are no hopeless situations; there are only people who lose hope in their situations. Whatever crisis you are going through right now, the solution is only in Christ. The world offers solutions that may comfort people but are, in fact, abominations before God. Even pious people with good intentions and motivations can lean toward worldly solutions in a crisis.

One day, we received a woman who was being mistreated by her husband. She complained so much to her marriage sponsor that one day, annoyed, he told her to file a complaint against her husband. This was a carnal decision that we immediately condemned and discouraged. Love is from God. In fact, love is God Himself. It is therefore impossible to love according to God unless you love with God’s love.

No human court will satisfy you when love is lacking in your marriage. It would be wiser to analyze the situation and decide to love or continue loving. For love is that power that produces friendship and intimacy. If we love God today, it is because His love has made us capable of doing so.

An African sage once responded to Walter Trobisch, the famous American evangelist, on a question he posed concerning divorce: “You have many divorces because you marry the women you love, whereas we love the women we marry.”

In this reflection, he wanted to show the man of God that the initial passion, “a poorly defined love,” led to disillusionment among Western couples of the time. Meanwhile, in African couples, love grew day by day between spouses. They learned to love the women they married every day. Thus, it was impossible for them to separate from them.

This situation experienced in the West at the time has since become widespread with globalization. How then can we maintain the initial flame? Is it possible to live in permanent love? When a marriage is not built on love, you will notice that it is an edifice without a foundation that will collapse at the slightest tremor. In such cases, even intimate relations are carried out instinctively, without affection or respect for the other.

In Africa, we have often seen couples argue and continue to have children. The satisfaction of instinct and the pursuit of selfish pleasure characterize many couples today. Are you experiencing a mechanical married life, without affection, without fidelity, without attachment, and without responsibility?

Jesus, through His Word, offers you the water of life, which not only quenches the thirst of the body but also fills you with love to share with those around you and to preserve your first love…

This text is an excerpt from the book “When Love is in Crisis” written by Dr. Max Kudianana.

We invite you to read the following article “A Crazy Love.”

Love Crisis.