Experts estimate that 70% to 80% of communication is non-verbal. This means that the majority of what an individual transmits goes well beyond the words spoken by their mouth. That’s why I invite you to continue your “profiling” work with a new mission: observing!

Observational work can be included in the exchanges you have with your child, but also and especially when you’re not talking to them, that is, when you’re not in direct contact with them. For example, during family gatherings, parties, when they’re at home with their friends, during their extracurricular activities…

We marvel at babies by being attentive to every gesture, and as children grow older, we tend to stop, even though it remains just as important. Let’s not forget that children are naturally drawn to what resonates with them.

I admit I’m impressed when I watch cooking shows and hear about the participants’ journeys. I’m amazed to hear that most of them have loved cooking since they were very young. It’s the room they always stayed in. They read cookbooks. They tried recipes…

And then someone might say that there’s nothing as obvious for your child. It’s true that we all have a kitchen at home unlike a private gym that would allow us to distinguish their taste for bodybuilding.

That’s why paying attention to details will be crucial.

Some observation pointers:

• What’s the first thing they do when they wake up?

• What do they do when they have nothing to do?

• When have you seen them upset?

• What companies do they seek?

• What leisure categories do they admire?

• During family gatherings, what role do they play? Do they speak up? Do they listen? Do they confront? Do they animate? Do they calm? Do they set the mood?

• During family parties, who do they stay with? Do they dance? Do they go with the flow? Do they try to impose something else? Do they make jokes?

• What kind of movies do they watch?

• How do they entertain themselves?

• What do you regularly find in the observation section of their report cards? (Even “negative” points can hide a talent; we’ll see that in a later chapter).

• Do they prefer the company of adults? Older people?

• Which room in the house do they like to be in?

• How are they during group games?

• What books do they choose?

• What delights them?

• What drives them to excel?

• What annoys them?

• Do they listen to music all the time? Do they dance at the same time?

• What’s their reaction to victory? To defeat?

It may seem like a daunting task, but it’s important to realize that some children are introverted or reserved, making observations less obvious than for others.

I know a woman who secretly aspired to a career in singing and dancing. She sang and danced all the time at home: it was her dream. Parents could have noticed it if they had only considered that such “activities” had a future.

Observing may not necessarily reveal a secretly enjoyed activity but will provide details about your child that will allow them to better understand themselves without projecting into a specific field.

The collection of details will thus constitute a clearer picture of your child’s skills.

It’s often said that it’s the little details that make the difference in the end. Discerning details must be associated with other principles mentioned later: you’ll need to continue reading the next chapters. I now invite you to move on to the practical exercise.

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This text is an excerpt from the book “Your Child is a Champion” written by Jérémie Meyer.

We invite you to read the following article “PROTECTING ONE’S DREAMS“.

OBSERVE YOUR CHILD.