We cannot stress enough the importance for parents to establish a relationship of trust with their children from an early age. You shouldn’t wait until problems arise, when they are five or six years old. If we don’t build a genuine relationship with our children while they are still young, we will likely never gain the trust and respect needed to resolve the more serious problems that will arise during adolescence.

The years between thirteen and twenty-one are particularly critical. This is the period when young people become aware of their sexuality. How easy it is for parents and many churches to act as if they don’t see them becoming adolescents! Ignoring them in this way means letting them down.

Our middle and high schools would be very different if parents spent more time with their teenagers! Some parents warn them about alcohol, drugs, and sexual experimentation. But how many regularly take the time to engage in what interests them, to encourage them to use their time creatively? Responsible parents will stay close to their children through the ups and downs of adolescence. They will also be companions and friends to them.

Young people need someone to confide in. Whether it’s a parent, a pastor, a teacher, or a friend, they need to find a trusted person with whom they can freely share their joys and struggles, and openly talk about sexuality without shame or embarrassment.

Today’s teenagers are confronted with far too many choices. Our society views diversity as the key to freedom and personal fulfillment. In fact, it is more a source of confusion. There are too few people capable of warning adolescents about the emotional wounds that result from sexual relationships without commitment. And even fewer know how to show them the hope that resides in forgiveness when a mistake has been made.

This is why we need people who lead by example, whom we can trust. However, children spend more time alone than ever before. At all levels of society, more and more children are being given house keys.

Purity, like impurity, is primarily taught by example (see Titus 2:6-8). Children need to see that the love between their parents is indissoluble, and to learn that certain looks, certain touches, and affectionate words are appropriate only between husband and wife.

They must understand that physical intimacy belongs only within marriage and that any prior experiences, whatever they may be, will only taint a future marriage. Of course, they must be spared the turmoil and pain that result from broken relationships and the sexual sins of the adults around them.

This is why it is so important to ensure that church life remains at the heart of family life. Children need to have living examples of purity, not just in their parents, but in all the people they associate with, whether married or single…

This text is an excerpt from the book Sex, Marriage, and God written by Johann Christoph Arnold.

We invite you to read the following article: “A Healthy Relationship Requires Time and Attention.

Purity And Impurity. Purity And Impurity.

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