Self-acceptance is the key to mental and emotional well-being. It involves becoming aware of the “self as seen by others,” the “self as seen by oneself,” and working on these perspectives to build and improve oneself. It also entails recognizing one’s worth, which includes both strengths and weaknesses.

This is a truly crucial stage in your life during which you must accept the attitude you have toward yourself, embracing your flaws and virtues consistently, without judgment or blame.

The goal of self-acceptance is to become holistically and positively self-aware. In a few words, it is a way for every human being to live more consciously.

Regardless of your background, title, personality, environment, social, intellectual, professional, emotional, or family status—and especially your challenges—it is based on your knowledge and acceptance of who you are that you must position yourself for meaningful personal achievement. Otherwise, you may find yourself fighting a losing battle, going in circles year after year.

Here are a few steps to help you connect with the hero within you:

1. First, ask yourself if you love yourself.

The starting point is self-love. It means acknowledging that beyond your flaws, you have strengths. Change the way you talk about yourself by focusing on your qualities rather than your defects. Highlight your strengths and work on improving your weaknesses.

Here are a few common signs that show you might not love yourself enough:

• You have trouble saying no. Even in situations that cause you pain, you can’t say no and prefer to remain silent.
• You don’t feel like you belong in your life, as if you would be better off in someone else’s place.
• You often feel depressed, anxious, or angry, sometimes for no reason.
• You’re not satisfied with your relationships.
• You tend to complain about everything.
• You’re quick to blame others.

These are warning signs that should alert you, and the sooner you address them, the better for you.

2. Identify a value you can bring to others.

This will help you stand out and positively impact those around you. Here are some actions you can take:

• Let go of things you can’t change. If you can walk away from them, do so. If not, focus on what you can manage and move forward.
• Take time to identify your strengths.
• Learn how to set goals.
• Learn to celebrate your achievements, even the small ones.
• Learn to be better prepared in the future; do your best to stay ready and organized ahead of time.
• Become a source of peace and pursue happiness—the kind of happiness that will inevitably lead to more positive thinking.
• And as a bonus, be kind so that you naturally attract people who will reciprocate.

It’s important to note that you can’t control everything at once; but at the very least, you must be open to change. I challenge you to break free from limiting beliefs, as they are often what undermine self-acceptance.

However, when someone looks within and stops judging and limiting themselves, that’s when they can face the world with greater freedom and positivity. For years, I was trapped in this bubble until I finally decided to change things in my favor and sought help to escape it.

Never hesitate to ask for help if you feel stuck, because admitting that something is wrong is a huge step toward healing. What follows will depend on your own desire for change and the success you’re aiming for.

Self-esteem and self-acceptance are closely linked. Self-esteem can be defined as how we view ourselves and how we value or assess our own importance. A person with good self-esteem feels ready to face life’s challenges and tends to persevere.

When you have healthy self-esteem, it usually translates into optimal self-acceptance.

The list below presents exercises to help you join the ranks of the winners—those who no longer shy away from obstacles but overcome them using the inner values they uncover:

To improve your self-acceptance, you should:

• Make a list of the things you criticize about yourself and identify your imperfections.
• Start working with that list to accept the negative and let it go. This is not about punishment but about self-acceptance and moving toward positivity.
• Stop comparing yourself to others.
  Everyone is unique and different; each has their own life path, and comparing yourself to others is useless.
• List your strengths and work on developing them.
• Look for strategies to improve your weaknesses.
• Start enhancing your emotional intelligence, practice mindfulness, and engage in techniques that help you attain a greater sense of peace.
• Stop taking others’ judgments and reproaches to heart.

Value constructive criticism and know its source in order to give it the weight it deserves.

All these strategies have been of great help to me and allowed me to see life from a different perspective. Even when I found myself stuck, I didn’t hesitate to seek help for clarity. Little by little, I became the lively, confident woman writing these words, hoping to help you avoid making the same mistakes.

However, you must also beware of the flip side of the coin—falling into the trap of overestimating yourself, which can seriously hinder your development and the fulfillment of your purpose. If you realize that you have an excessively high opinion of yourself, you must urgently seek help, lest you become a danger not only to yourself but also to society…

This text is an excerpt from the book “MY IDENTITY, MY STRENGTH” written by Natacha Koladja Momo.

We invite you to read the following article: “AWARENESS AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE.”