Sexuality and Sensuality.
“For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.” 1 Timothy 4:4-5
In the Bible, the heart is the place of inner life. It is in the heart that decisions are made, determining the direction of our life (cf. Jer 17:10). But God also created us as sensual beings. Sensuality encompasses what we perceive with our senses, including sexual attraction. The fragrance of a flower, the warmth of the sun, the first smile of a baby—all bring us joy. With our senses, God has given us a great gift. If we use them to praise and worship Him, they will bring us much happiness.
However, while sensual experience can draw us closer to God, it can also lead us astray and even plunge us into demonic darkness. Too often, we prioritize the superficial. In doing so, we miss out on powerful possibilities that God could give us.
By prioritizing what we feel, we forget God. We deprive ourselves of living out His full will for us.
To despise the sensual aspect of existence is to reject God and the work of His hands (cf. 1 Tim 4:1-3). The Holy Spirit does not ask us to despise the body and the emotions it stirs. However, we must not forget that Satan seeks to subvert what is good. He distorts the truth and constantly tries to deceive us, especially in this area.
The body is not the enemy of the spirit. It should not be rejected. The true enemy is Satan. He continually tries to separate us from God. God’s will is for the whole of our being—spirit, soul, and body—to belong to Him and serve Him (cf. 1 Cor 10:31).
The senses are not inherently bad. Everything we do, whether awake or asleep, in some way involves sensory experience. But we are not animals. We are created in God’s image. Therefore, much more is asked of us.
When two people fall in love, their joy at first is generally sensual: they gaze into each other’s eyes, listen to the sound of their voices, enjoy holding hands, and feel the warmth of being near each other.
Human love cannot remain at this level. It must go much further. When sensuality becomes an end in itself, everything takes on a fleeting, temporary nature. We feel driven to seek greater and greater satisfaction in ever more intense experiences (cf. Eph 4:17-19). Using all our energy for the intoxication of the senses is exhausting and quickly depletes our ability to tap into our vital strength. We also lose our capacity to experience deep inner experiences. A man married for over thirty years confided to me:
“At the beginning of our marriage, I always wanted my wife to be elegant and attractive. It was the golden age of the mini-skirt. I thought it suited her well. I saw no harm in this way of dressing, not for her, nor for other men, nor for myself. However, in doing so, I encouraged lustful looks, which Jesus had clearly condemned. It was only later, when my wife and I understood this, that we were able to free ourselves from the exaggerated and unhealthy attention we paid to physical appearance. We were then able to move toward a more authentic relationship.“
As long as we do not offer everything we are including our senses to God in worship, we will remain unable to experience the fullness of the things of this world. I have observed many times how people who focus on satisfying the senses end up leading superficial, aimless lives. When the senses govern our lives, we remain frustrated and disoriented.
On the other hand, in God, we can experience what is eternal, even in the realm of sensuality. In Him, we can fulfill our deepest inner aspirations for what is genuine and enduring.
Our sexuality becomes a gift when we surrender it to God.
As a gift from God, sensuality is a mystery. Without God, it loses its mystery and is desecrated. This is especially true in the realm of sexuality. Sexual life touches the deepest part of our being. Instinctively, we conceal it. Sexuality is secret. It touches and expresses the deepest parts of who we are. Unveiling it brings us into intimacy, into the most personal aspects of ourselves. Another person is introduced into this secret.
This is why the domain of sexuality, though one of the greatest gifts of God, is also the realm of shame. We would be ashamed to reveal to others what we do in secret. It is an instinctive reaction meant to protect what is holy and given by God, and not a mental imbalance as some psychologists claim.
Sexual union should express the fullness of lasting and indissoluble love. It manifests the total gift of oneself to another person, through the mutual revelation of what each person holds most secret. Engaging in sexual activity without being united by the bond of marriage is to disdain its sacred nature.
The common practice of premarital sexual relations, even with someone one intends to marry, is not without consequences and can seriously compromise a future marriage. The veil of intimacy should only be lifted with God’s blessing and that of the Church in marriage (cf. Heb 13:4). Even within marriage, sexual intimacy must be submitted to Christ to bear good fruit.
The contrast between a marriage centered on Christ and a relationship focused solely on the flesh is reflected in these words of the apostle Paul in his letter to the Galatians:
“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” (Gal 5:19-24)
People who equate sexual desire with gluttony have not understood the meaning of sexuality. When we succumb to sexual lust or impurity, we debase ourselves in a way far more profound than through gluttony, though the Bible also condemns the latter.
Sexual lust and impurity wound us at the deepest level. They attack the core of the soul. When we fall into sexual impurity, we become prey to demonic forces. Our whole being becomes sick. We can only be healed and set free through repentance and a new birth.
The opposite of impurity is not legalism.
The opposite of sexual and sensual impurity is not hypocritical legalism, moralism, or false piety. Jesus strongly warns us against these (cf. Matt 23:25-28)! In everything we feel and experience through our senses, our joy must remain free and authentic. Blaise Pascal said:
“Passions are always alive in those who want to renounce them” (Pensées, 413).
When the senses are repressed by moral constraint rather than disciplined from within, they find new ways to stray into falsehood and perversity (cf. Col 2:21-23).
In our time, which has lost its moral compass, it is becoming increasingly difficult to teach young people a deep respect for God and His creation. It is all the more important to educate them in this sense so that, as adults, whether married or not, they can choose a life of purity.
We must help children understand the meaning and sanctity of sexuality in God’s plan, convince them of the importance of keeping their bodies and thoughts pure and unstained in preparation for marriage. They need to understand that sexuality finds its fulfillment and happiness in a pure marriage, according to God’s design.
God rejoices when a newly married couple experiences the fullness of their union: first in spirit, then heart to heart, and finally through the body. When two spouses discover each other sexually, with respect and before God, united to Him in the unity that comes from Him, their union glorifies Him. Every couple should strive to reach this mutual respect. For the pure in heart will see God (Matt 5:8).
This text is an excerpt from the book “Sexuality, Marriage, and God“ by Johann Christoph Arnold.
We invite you to read the following article: “Marriage Does Not Guarantee Purity.“
Sexuality and Sensuality. Sexuality and Sensuality. Sexuality and Sensuality.
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