The fourth and the final values your children need are social values.

a. Teach Them to Conquer Self Will 

John and Charles Wesley were great men of God who left their marks in the world. Their influence is still being felt by people of all nations. John wrote to his mother, How did you raise us? What exactly did you do that has made us so unswerving in our convictions?

Here is Suzanne Wesley’s response to her son’s questions, as recorded in the Heart of John Wesley’s Journal.

I insist upon conquering the will of children on time, because this is the only strong and rational foundation of a religious education, without which both precept and example will be ineffectual. But when this is thoroughly done, then a child is capable of being governed by the reason and piety of its parent, till its own understanding comes to maturity, and the principles of religion have taken root in the mind.

I cannot yet dismiss this subject. Self-will is the root of all sin and misery. Whatever cherishes this in children insures their after-wretchedness and irreligion, but whatever checks and mortifies self-will in them promotes their future happiness and piety. This is, that religion is nothing else than doing the will of God, and not our own; that the one grand impediment to our temporal and eternal happiness being this self-will, no indulgences of it can be trivial, no denial unprofitable. Heaven or hell depends on this alone so that the parent who studies to subdue it in his child, works together with God; any parent who indulges it does the devil’s work, makes religion impractical, salvation unattainable; and does all that lies in him to damn his child’s soul and body forever.

Mrs. Wesley strongly stated that the one major character flaw that must be carefully removed from your child’s life is self-will. As you train your children to obey your voice the first time you speak, you will have a clear picture of your child’s self-will. It will surface with perfect precision. Self-will is noted in every person from infants to the elderly and it all begins from childhood.

“Self-will is the root of all sin and misery.” Suzanne Wesley

As children are trained to obey and honor authority, they will express their self-will in many different forms. The delicate balance is to break their self-will without damaging their personality.

b. Teach Them To Be Appreciative 

Nothing provokes a man to better performance like when he is appreciated and commended. It gives him a sense of value. Teach your children to be appreciative of whatever is given to them. A child that is not appreciative will be covetous. What you on appreciate today will depreciate tomorrow.

“He that hateth covetousness shall prolong his days.” Proverbs 28:16

When you make appreciation your priority, you will never know lack; rather you will attract more favors. A child that is not appreciative will be covetous.

The cure for covetousness is contentment. A contented man is always appreciative.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6

c. Watch the Friends They Keep 

Friends are not imposed, they are made. You should guide your children’s choice of friends by knowing who their friends are because who they keep company with influences their destiny for good or bad. The Bible says, Evil communication corrupt good manners. (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Teach your children to walk with the wise rather than being in the company of wrong people. A wise son increases by wise counsel and makes the father glad.

“My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.” Proverbs 1:10

If they keep company with fools, they are heading for destruction. It is your responsibility as a parent to keep your children from strange children.

“Rid me and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood: that our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.” Psalm 144:12-13

This text is an extract from the book “BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES OF PARENTING” written by Mary A. Abioye. 

We invite you to read the following article “SEX EDUCATION“.

SOCIAL VALUES. SOCIAL VALUES.