Recognizing a bitter person is not an easy task because bitterness is invisible to the naked eye. It is a deep-rooted seed lodged in the heart that manifests in various forms. In this chapter, I will mention some early warning signs that help identify the characteristics of a bitter person.

I observe that a bitter person harbors as much pain or hatred as the blood that flows through their veins. Their resentment is as powerful as the beating of their heart.

First Sign: Vulgarity

Bitterness taints our language; a bitter person becomes verbally vulgar. Their tongue is as sharp as a sword. Their words wound and demean those around them. They always have a negative opinion about everything, and their criticisms are disproportionate. They take pleasure in gossiping or openly pointing out others’ flaws.

I must admit that I largely see myself in this description. For a long time, I had a sharp tongue and prided myself on being blunt, on not mincing my words. Many said that my remarks were hurtful; some even hated me because I seemed to lack empathy.

My verbal aggression reflected what was in my heart; my words were infused with my anger and contempt for people. Internally, I had a sense of pride in being direct, but deep down, I was someone truly arrogant and difficult to listen to.

When bitterness resides in a person’s soul, their mouth becomes like a lake of fire that scorches the hearts of those they speak to.

Second Sign: Jealousy

I remember one of my former colleagues. He was a man of excessive and possessive jealousy. His wife suffered greatly because of it. He had no trust, neither in himself nor in his wife. Every time he called her, if she didn’t pick up, he became suspicious. To him, his wife’s unavailability equated to infidelity. His jealousy grew to disproportionate levels and led to conflicts.

A bitter person is jealous of others’ success. They clearly lack self-confidence and self-esteem and are always in competition with others. Like many, I could spend hours on social media, observing and admiring other people’s lives.

I considered mine mediocre and meaningless. I had a tendency to idealize others and devalue myself. I coveted what others had, which fueled envy and jealousy in me. I was also a killjoy, someone who had the knack for ruining others’ happiness.

Because they are self-centered, a person who is jealous to this degree is focused on themselves and seeks to inflict their misery on others. They devalue themselves and are always seeking attention followed by validation.

Third Sign: Sadness

A bitter person has neither inner peace nor joy. They are pessimistic and depressive. Their trials compromise their happiness and are heavy burdens they cannot shed. They are so blinded by the darkness of their inner state that everything around them seems bleak and hopeless. They are overwhelmed by their difficulties and talk about them constantly.

They have the unfortunate habit of dwelling on past wounds. They relive them by unconsciously rekindling them and sinking into sadness. They are ungrateful and impatient. They have no joy in life but suffer continuously. To them, life is a perpetual sorrow.

In my personal life, I was like this. I only saw the negative side of life. My pain was deeply rooted within me, and my tears were like a river in which I was submerged. I felt an inner emptiness that nothing and no one could fill.

Sometimes I would smile to keep up appearances, but inside I was sad. I regretted my life and asked myself so many questions about my future. Bitterness overwhelms us with nostalgia and turns our lives into melancholy…

This text is an excerpt from the book “Bitterness Killed Me, Forgiveness Gave Me Life“ by Josué WANYA.

We invite you to read the following article, “The Characteristics of a Bitter Person 2.”