THE COMPLEX MECHANISMS BEHIND REJECTION.
I had been hired on a temporary basis to replace an employee on maternity leave at a real estate company. I struggled to find my place alongside the colleague of the person I was replacing. At that time, if I had to rate my level of self-esteem and confidence?
Below zero… Chaos, utter confusion! We must understand that we vibrate at certain frequencies when interacting with others. And we often attract people who appear to reflect a certain emotional balance, but it’s just a facade masking the true hidden disaster.
This seemingly unhealthy attraction, once we get into it, we are literally taken hostage. The illusion is the similarity of situations that bind certain people vibrating at this negative frequency. We console ourselves by saying, “since we share rejection in common, we will help each other.” Fatal mistake. This pattern is recurrent among us women, exceptional and emotional beings by nature. The vulnerable playing the heroines, with tattered capes, trying to save themselves by saving others… I had become the office “scapegoat,” unable to assert and defend myself. I would go home anxious and return in the morning with a knot in my stomach.
Then one day a call was transferred to the reception by someone in the accounting department, I believe. On the line, the caller with a typically American accent was looking to reach someone in management. I had been instructed to screen calls before transferring them. I mustered up the courage, after asking the caller to identify themselves and the purpose of the call, I quickly understood that the call was intended for the general manager. So, I transferred the call to his assistant. I still had some doubt, though I was certain I had done the right thing. I remained anxious about receiving a remark.
After an hour, I hadn’t received any remarks indicating I had transferred the call to the wrong person. To my great surprise, upon returning from his lunch break, the director said to me, “Thank you Jennifer for correctly transferring the call to my assistant.” It seemed that the call was about concluding a partnership with a company based in the United States. I can’t describe the relief I felt. That day, for the first time, I went home with a peaceful heart. I felt like an athlete at the finish line after a marathon. The mental burden was immense.
Yet, it was nothing extraordinary. Yes, indeed, our emotions, when unregulated, impact our brain and body similarly to a hurdle race. The fear of rejection was at its peak. I interpret everything through the prism of this wound, minimizing my potential out of fear of rejection. A form of toxic guilt that drove me to self-sabotage. We reject what overwhelms us.
The brain operates based on the type of information and pushes us to react. It is therefore not insignificant to feel a strong surge of adrenaline when we dare to accomplish a feat. The human brain is naturally programmed for negativity…
This text is an excerpt from the book “UNSHAKABLE! Breaking and Healing from the Destructive Patterns of the Wound of Rejection” written by Jennifer SYLAIRE.
We invite you to read the following article: “Correlation Between Rejection and Other Soul Wounds.“
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