Saturday, 8:30 p.m. – Goleta

The phone rang for the eighth time that evening. Lying on her bed after spending nearly 40 minutes in the shower, 21-year-old Lisa Awalé had made up her mind not to answer it. She had no desire to talk to anyone—especially not him. Anxiously, she stared at her cell phone, which had been ringing incessantly since the beginning of the evening.

After the first three calls, she had thought her boyfriend Roland would give up eventually. He was the persistent type, but he should at least be able to understand that tonight, she just didn’t feel like talking. Lisa wiped the drying tears from her cheeks and rejected the call again. For a moment, she considered blocking his number. But she didn’t.

Even though she didn’t want to speak to him, she didn’t feel it was a good enough reason to blacklist her boyfriend’s number. That was the kind of thing reserved for the persistent suitors who constantly harassed her. No, Roland didn’t deserve that—despite what had happened between them that night…

She sat up and buried her face in her hands.

How had she let things get so far? she asked herself, bursting into tears once more. Had she really just lost her virginity, even though she had sworn to save it until marriage? The dumbest mistake of the century. What on earth had compelled her to go to Roland’s place when she knew she wasn’t strong enough to resist him right now? And deep down, she had known what might happen that night.

All those sermons you listened to at church were for nothing, Lisa, a voice whispered. Why fight it? You’re no better than anyone else. Guilt and remorse began to devour her slowly, without anesthesia. She moved to the edge of her bed and knelt down. She tried to pray for the second time that evening, but she didn’t know what to say.

The voices kept hammering at her from the inside.
Sinner, sinner, sinner, it’s over now. God wants nothing to do with you. Stay away from Him. How dare you speak to Him? Do you really think He’ll listen to you?

Part of Lisa knew those voices weren’t really God’s. But it was hard to tell the difference.

In all the noise inside her, it was difficult to discern the gentle whisper that had once accompanied her during her meditation times. It had been so long, in fact, that she could no longer even remember what that voice sounded like. Still, Lisa felt the need to talk to God. She knew she had sinned against Him and needed to ask for forgiveness. She hadn’t listened to her conscience, which told her it was a bad idea to go to Roland’s that evening. She’d done things her own way.

Roland had been so persuasive. Roland…

Their story had begun last year, about two months after she had arrived on campus. One evening, after an especially exhausting day of classes, a guy had approached her as she was leaving. He had greeted her warmly and asked for a few minutes of her time. Lisa, who had instantly understood his true intentions when she saw him, paid no attention. She simply ignored him and kept walking.

But that didn’t seem to discourage the Don Juan. He had followed her for nearly twenty minutes and clearly had no intention of giving up. Lisa quickly realized he was the kind of guy who didn’t let go easily. And the last thing she wanted was for this charming stranger to find out where she lived.

Exasperated by the young man’s persistence, she finally stopped to respond. That’s how she found herself facing a handsome specimen in his early twenties. He had broad shoulders and stood at least six feet tall. With his imposing build, he looked like a professional athlete. He towered over her by at least six inches, making him even more attractive. She had always had a soft spot for tall men.

Physically, this handsome stranger was exactly her type. But she had no intention of lingering on that thought. She wasn’t looking for a relationship at the moment. Lisa decided to be blunt and make herself clear.

“Listen, sir,” she said, “I’m tired. I’ve just had an exhausting day, and on top of that, I have a ton of chemistry exercises due tomorrow morning. I really don’t have time to chat with you, and I’m not at all interested in whatever you’re offering. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to go home in peace, please.”

Impressed by the girl’s fiery temperament, Roland whistled in admiration and gave her a dazzling smile. He replied in a calm, melodious voice.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t resist. Moths are often drawn to light, you see? They say these bright lights mess with their navigation systems. That’s exactly what happened to me tonight. Your light…”

“Save your breath, mister. That won’t work on me,” she replied firmly.

Is he serious? Are we really doing the Don Juan thing tonight?

“Dang, really?” said Roland, thrown off. “And I thought that line always worked…” Lisa had turned to walk away, but the athletic young man jumped in front of her, pleading with his eyes.

“Please. Just a minute. That’s all I’m asking.”

“For what? And why should I do that?”

“Well… you just said you’ve got chemistry exercises to do, right? I bet you’re in your first year. I can help. I’m in second-year molecular chemistry, and I’m pretty good at it. My name’s Roland. We’ve already seen each other on campus, but you don’t seem to remember.”

Of course she didn’t. She had never seen him before in her life. Lisa never forgot a face. This guy had just made that up to throw her off and buy some time. Boys, she thought, ugh. She shot him a wary look and didn’t shake the hand he offered. And on top of that, he was addressing her informally.

“Listen, uh… Roland, thanks for your concern, but I really don’t have time to talk. I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

“Wait, you could at least give me your number. We could meet up again.”

Lisa literally burst out laughing. What kind of weird pickup line was that? Why would she give him her number? Did he seriously think she would hand it over when she didn’t even know him? She laughed hysterically. Her laughter was interrupted by a coughing fit.

“Did I say something funny?” Roland asked, visibly confused.

“I’m not giving you my number, Mr. Roland.”

“Please, Lisa, call me Roland.”

Lisa froze when she heard him say her name—she had never told it to him. Good thing serial killers weren’t common in Benin, she thought. Roland had probably gotten her name from someone in her class.

“How do you know my name?”

“We’re at UST, Lisa. Everyone knows everyone here. So it is Lisa, right? Can I have your number now? It’s getting late, and I wouldn’t want to keep you.”

This guy was getting more and more suspicious. Why was he so desperate to get her number? She gave him a more skeptical look and frowned.

“I have to go. Good evening. And if you follow me, I’ll scream for help.”

Before Roland could reply, she walked away briskly, glancing back from time to time to check if the mysterious guy was following her. But he wasn’t. He stayed right where he was and watched her leave.

Back home, Lisa thought about the whole incident again. She burst out laughing alone in her room.

She concluded that tonight’s handsome stranger was just another UST womanizer and that she had done the right thing by not talking to him any longer. She hadn’t even finished that thought when her phone rang. It was an unknown number, but her Truecaller app showed “Roland” on the screen.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

That night, she didn’t answer the call. She just kept rejecting it, and when she’d had enough, she blacklisted the number. After that, she didn’t hear from him again.

Until two months later, when she ran into him in the campus computer lab. She pretended not to recognize him, but he insisted, just like before.

At least he wasn’t bitter. She eventually agreed to talk, and this time they chatted longer. Lisa realized that behind the bad-boy stalker façade was a charming and very pleasant man. He invited her to continue the conversation at the campus restaurant, and she agreed. She figured there was no harm in staying friends.

They kept in touch. Of course, Roland made advances that day.

But Lisa gently turned him down. They stayed just friends—but very close ones. For quite a while, they talked and saw each other almost every day. Daily life brings people closer, and Lisa eventually succumbed to the charm of this handsome man.

To her surprise, she found herself telling him everything about her. She talked about her parents, her brothers and sisters. And he always listened attentively. He often gave her advice and comforted her when she was feeling down. And Lisa was a young woman with very changeable moods.

Each time, Roland was there and tolerated her whims. Gradually, she started finding it hard to be without him. Three months later, she was completely in love.

As if sensing it, Roland made advances again. She told him her fears, and what being in a relationship meant to her. She talked about her parents, her faith, and her religious convictions.

Roland said he was ready to make the necessary sacrifices for her. He said he loved her. And maybe he really did.

In the months that followed, she let her guard down completely. She eventually agreed to date him and set lots of boundaries they weren’t supposed to cross. But the problem was Lisa. She had trouble keeping her own rules.

It was she who kissed him on the lips for the first time, at her place. Then she repented. He was the first guy she had ever kissed. After that first time, she felt she had done something she shouldn’t have. Roland, for his part, was stunned. He hadn’t seen it coming. In their “agreement,” Lisa had clearly stated: no kissing, no wandering hands, and above all, no sex. Strangely enough, he hadn’t protested.

Now Lisa understood why. He was patient.

A few weeks after their first kiss, she kissed him again—this time at school, one evening after a study session. Deep down, she felt that Roland was becoming a threat to her faith, but she didn’t have the will—or the desire—to let go. Eventually, he took the lead.

At the dance party for International Women’s Day on campus, he was the one who kissed her. And Lisa hadn’t stopped him. How could she? She’d given up for some time. She loved him.

And they kissed again a few days later. Lisa told herself she had things under control. She was sure they wouldn’t cross the red line she’d drawn. But after every kiss, she wanted to go further. Roland was so handsome, so caring, so irresistible.

Lisa buried her face in her hands to push those memories away. Slowly, she sat cross-legged on her bed. She didn’t know what to do anymore. What could she possibly say to the Lord tonight? She was sure she had disappointed Him. She had disappointed herself. She could never again stay in His presence. God surely resented her.

And yet, at the beginning of her relationship with Roland, Lisa had made it clear that having a boyfriend was far from her priority. She came from an evangelical Protestant family.

From an early age, she had been introduced to the Word of God by her parents. Her father was a preacher. She had been taught many things about faith in God and obedience to the Lord’s Word. With her mother, she had often had long talks about the kind of “healthy” relationships she should have with male friends when “the time was right.” Her mother had always told her that her body should remain pure—for her God and for her future husband.

At the time, Lisa didn’t understand much of it, but she cherished those mother-daughter talks that brought her closer to her mom. After graduating high school, she earned a scholarship to UST (University of Science and Technology). She was finally leaving the family nest and starting a new life on campus. From now on, she would be making all the big decisions that concerned her.

The night before she left, Lisa’s mother reminded her again about her relationship with God—how she needed to prioritize it above everything else.

“Lise,” she had said, “you have to be very careful where you’re going. I was a student once, and I know that when you’re young, you’re tempted to try everything… but you must stay away from bad company that could lead you astray. Stay away from boys with questionable intentions. You know what I mean.”

Lisa had given an awkward laugh and hugged her mother. She’d told her not to worry. She knew why she was going to school, and she had no intention of letting herself be touched by any boy who wasn’t her husband.

Unfortunately, things hadn’t gone as planned. She met Roland, and she hadn’t been able to keep her promises.

“Don’t forget that your father and I have invested so much in you, Lisa,” her mother had added.

“How could I ever forget that, Mom? You and Dad are the best parents in the world.”

That night, in the darkness of her room, sitting on her bed, Lisa replayed that conversation in her mind. Deep down, she felt horribly unclean. She had betrayed God’s trust—and her mother’s.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t keep my promise.”

The phone rang again, and Lisa made up her mind…

The phone rang again, and Lisa decided to answer.

“Hello,” said a deep voice on the other end. “Lisie?”
“Hi, Roland.”

He sounds even more shaken than I am, she thought.

“Lisie,” Roland continued, “I’ve been trying to reach you for an hour. Are you okay? If it’s because of what happened, I’m really sorry. If I’d known it would upset you this much, I never would have…”

“Please, Roland, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Lisie…”
“It’s not your fault. Stop beating yourself up. I went to your place of my own free will, and what happened… happened. That’s all. You didn’t force me into anything.”
“Don’t say that, sweetheart. I know I pressured you, in a way. I knew how sensitive you were, and still I asked you to come over.”

Lisa closed her eyes.

“Stop, Roland. I’m telling you—I’m the one at fault here. I shouldn’t have accepted your invitation tonight. Instead, I wore tight jeans and a top that was way too revealing. I knew what kind of effect it could have on you… and on me. I have no excuse. I’m the only one responsible for what happened tonight.”
“Lisie… Let me come over and see you tonight. I need to make sure you’re okay. You left before we had a chance to talk.”
“I’m fine. I just need to be alone tonight. I’m hanging up now, Roland.”
“Lise…”

There was silence on the other end, then a sigh. Lisa felt bad for putting him through this, but she just wasn’t in the mood to talk to him tonight. She really needed time alone to process everything.

“Alright, I get it,” Roland said, resigned. “You know what? I’ll call you tomorrow. Please, just answer tomorrow. If not, I’ll come over.”
“Okay, I’ll answer.”
“Get some rest then. Sleep well, my love. I love you.”

Lisa said nothing. She simply pressed the red button on the screen to hang up. She stared at her phone for a moment, then shook her head.

Silently, she slipped under her sheet. As she closed her eyes, she could have sworn she heard a bone-chilling chuckle—both distant and close to her ears at the same time. But she was too tired to think about it.

Lisa fell asleep…

This text is an excerpt from the book “SENTINELLES: PREMIER TOUR DE GARDE” written by Charles SANDAH.

We invite you to read the next article: “A HEALED HEART.”

THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP.

THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP. THE LOST SHEEP.