The Need of a Man in a Relationship.
- The first need of man is admiration and respect.
The first need of man is certainly his most important need. A woman can give everything to a man, including sending love letters, giving him gifts, and being sexually available 24/7, but if he doesn’t feel respected and admired, it won’t be enough. Respect is reflected in how he is treated, how he is spoken to, including the words used when addressing him.
If a woman speaks inappropriately to a man repeatedly, he will interpret it as a lack of respect and, therefore, a lack of love for him. In every man, there is a hero often filled with ego who just wants to be valued, respected, and admired by the people around him. You can’t blame him for being this way; he was created with this need.
This need must be nurtured, regardless of the type of relationship. Whether you are colleagues, in a friendship, a family relationship, or a marriage, men need to be respected. In his book ‘The 5 Love Languages,’ sold in millions of copies, Gary Chapman discusses the idea that we feel loved in five ways: through gifts, quality time spent together, affirming words, acts of service, and physical touch.
One might have thought that physical touch would be the primary language through which men feel loved, but the author’s studies show that affirming words are the language through which they feel most loved.
- The second need of man is sex.
If you talk to women about sexuality, you will discover that most of them think that men have an exaggerated passion for sex. The truth is that they don’t understand that there is a difference between desire and need. Man was created with this need; there’s no need to see your husband as an extraterrestrial. What you need to know is that this need was created to work in a specific context and can also be managed.
In simpler terms, no man has ever died from remaining chaste. For those in a marital relationship, it’s up to the husband to find strategies so that his wife doesn’t feel like a sexual object. It’s up to him to create an ideal environment to satisfy this need. But that doesn’t mean she can’t make it easier for her partner.
You’ve understood that this need only refers to a certain category of relationships; don’t expect a friend or colleague to satisfy this need unless your relationship has changed in nature.
- The third need of man is recreation.
Recreation is the necessary space where men relax, have fun with their friends, and grow closer to each other. They strengthen their intra-personal relationships when alone and their interpersonal relationships when in the company of others. That’s why they enjoy watching football matches and spending entertaining moments without wanting to be interrupted.
It’s his way of relaxing and finding fulfillment despite the challenges he faces, forgetting his daily challenges for a few moments. He needs these moments. If you are a woman and want to get his attention, join him during these moments of relaxation without interrupting him, and introduce your topics of conversation later.
It’s pointless to want to discuss the future of the children while he’s watching a football match or when he’s with his friends. It’s not that the topic isn’t important, but the timing is simply ill-chosen.
- The fourth need of man is attraction.
This need simply means that a man is attracted by what he sees. In a marital relationship, for example, the wife must always be well-dressed, well-groomed, etc., so that her partner’s gaze is always directed towards her. This need puts pressure on the woman to always be presentable and attractive. This need does not justify some men being unfaithful to their wives. If you don’t find your partner attractive, let her know and tell her what she should wear to satisfy you in this regard.
- The fifth need of man is domestic support.
In addressing this point, I would like to make an important clarification. I don’t believe that women were created for domestic chores. You don’t get married to have a maid in your house, let alone a cook. If you are looking for a housekeeper, hire one from a local company.
Have you noticed, for example, that boys have difficulty with domestic chores, including cleaning and even tidying their rooms? This observation actually shows that men are naturally disinterested in these tasks, which proves that they need help.
He doesn’t like cooking unless he’s passionate about it, and he has trouble organizing his things unless he’s disciplined. He needs a housekeeper or a cook. Note that I haven’t made any reference to a wife because in some cultures, women have been reduced to domestic tasks. This leads many men to get married because they need someone to cook for them.
This text is an excerpt from the book “THE BEAUTY AND DANGERS OF RELATIONSHIPS” written by Clet N. MICKOLO.”