T. HARV EKER, the author of the book “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,” explains that most of the poor in this world are unconsciously driven by negative thoughts about wealth. This means that unconsciously, the poor prefer poverty over wealth. Since we attract what occupies our unconscious thoughts, the poor attract poverty and repel wealth. During coaching sessions, I have often spoken with young single women who want to get married, but at the same time seem to repel all the serious men who want to marry them.

These women are confused because they are aware that their behavior towards men contradicts their conscious aspirations regarding marriage. Another case I often encounter is people who want to transition from being employees to becoming self-employed. It is evident that these people always manage to sabotage their entrepreneurial projects just before they come to fruition. They end up being employees in jobs they dislike, settling for a salary that doesn’t satisfy them.

The three categories of people mentioned above are victims of unconscious thoughts contrary to their conscious desires. These unconscious thoughts mostly stem from what they have heard over a long period and have come to accept as true. The information these people have heard and validated mostly comes from people who held some authority over them, such as parents and teachers. This conditioning by words happens more effectively when the victim is still very young.

A person who cannot move from lack to abundance likely grew up in an environment where the rich were criticized and wealth was associated with cheating, exploiting others, corruption, dishonesty, cruelty, injustice, contempt for the divine, etc. These are people whose parents complained about the rich because they believed that it was due to the rich that they were unemployed, couldn’t find jobs, or that low wages were the rich’s fault. All the negative conclusions parents drew about the rich were heard and then validated by the child as true. This truth then lodged itself in the child’s heart. This unconscious thought attracts similar circumstances into this person’s life despite their age.

Single young women who aspire to marriage but paradoxically do everything to avoid it are also victims of their parents’ words and actions. A mother who has experienced marital failure due to her husband’s behavior is often tempted to speak negatively about marriage. It takes great wisdom for this woman to separate her personal experience from the nature of marriage itself. She needs the wisdom to admit that marriage is a good thing in itself and that perhaps she and her husband didn’t follow its rules.

When this woman chooses to see herself as a victim, she is very likely to contaminate her daughters with negative remarks about marriage. By continually expressing these negative views, the daughters will eventually accept them as true. Once validated, these words will lodge themselves in the heart and will later determine the concerned parties’ behavior when they grow up.

An employee who can’t become a wealth creator has most likely heard their parents repeat throughout their youth that they needed to go to school, get a diploma, and find a job. Besides the parents, the education system generally prepares people to become employees rather than to deploy themselves. It’s rare to find courses in the education system that prepare students to create and manage their own businesses.

This is why an accountant might be excellent at keeping a company’s books but mediocre at managing their own personal finances. The same is true for many finance and management graduates who are deeply in debt themselves because they haven’t learned to manage their own affairs. The conditioning to aspire to a job prevents these people from realizing entrepreneurial projects.

The foundation of thoughts is the words we hear. It can be a clear message, that is, words communicated to us verbally. But it can also be an indirect message, that is, a message communicated to us through non-verbal language. In both cases, a message is sent, and this message has been received and accepted as true…

This text is an excerpt from the book “THINKING WELL TO SUCCEED BETTER” by Dominique MBOG.

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