Money is very vital in every home for the upkeep of the Children , the woman and to take care of other basic necessities in life. Therefore, the absence of money somehow can open doors for animosity in the home. Wisdom is a defence and money is also a defence. So ,we need money to keep the family going. 

Poverty has been the main reason why many husbands and wives can no longer tell themselves the truth when it comes to the matter of money. When two people committed to live together for life, begin to play a hide and seek game because of money, they are beginning to tread on a dangerous ground of bitterness and hatred. 

Your income should be made open and adequate planning of the usage should be properly spelt out to protect your marriage. There is no secret in the secret place ; your home is the secret place , so there is no secret in it . If financial transparency is still in question in your home , then something is wrong . 

I am not talking of the situation whereby you cannot spend any penny without the consent of your spouse . I am speaking of being transparent in the finance of the home and have financial peace. What God has joined together let no dollars or any other currency put asunder! When you spend together, plan together, have project and execute it together and if you don’t join your force together so that, you two can chase ten thousand, then, your speed in life might be limited. 

You must establish a system which will enable you to break the barrier of finance because if it is not done, problems will tend to spring up from that angle always. Lies can destroy confidence, honour, integrity and respect for one another. Openness in every area of life and sincerity (Gen 2: 25) will cause the flow of love and trust in the home. 

And if there are lies, lack of money and lack of openness, gradually the sexual life of the marriage will begin to die down and before you know it, the joy and flavour that mark a godly marriage will disappear, leaving wounds of bitterness and hatred. The husband will no longer has desire towards the wife and vice visa. 

And enemy will now dwell in the centre of that home and build his tent securely. The area of sex is important also and is supposed to be enjoyed by both partners. Any marriage that the matrimonial bed is still speaking daily will always have joy, peace and fulfilment, because sex in marriage somehow binds and knits the hearts of the partners together ; it is a sacred period in marriage when each one is free to express his or her love to their partners. 

So, the absence of this will surely bring a gap in the lives of the partners and each one will be eating the bread of sorrow. Look at what Apostle Paul had to say concerning marriage and sex: 

“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication: let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband the wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and like wise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency” I Cor 7: 2 – 5. 

In as much as marriage is important, marriage without sexual relationship is dangerous and it opens the door for bitterness and hatred in the marriage. The word «defraud» is to cheat. No partner should ever cheat the other by refusing to yield to the other as when due. Therefore, to avoid unfaithfulness in this area, the partners should make it a  …

This text is an extract from the book “ Breaking The Strongholds Of Hatred And Bitterness In Marriage ” written by Victor Charles OKAFOR.

We invite you to read the following article “PRIDE AND STRIFE”.

UNFAITHFULNESS. UNFAITHFULNESS. UNFAITHFULNESS.