It is interesting to see that God expects the husband to love his wife, but it is expected of the wife to respect her husband.

“As for the rest, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).

I imagine that no woman would marry a man without loving him, but too often, a woman loses respect for her husband after they have been married for some time. The loss of respect seems to precede the loss of love and hurts a man more than we realize. The consequences of losing respect for your husband can be disastrous. Michal, the wife of King David, observed her husband dancing before the crowd, without his royal garment, while the ark of the covenant was entering the city. Michal not only failed to share his joy, but she also despised him (2 Samuel 6:16).

She criticized him instead of trying to understand the situation from God’s perspective. She paid a high price for her lack of respect; God’s judgment made her barren. I believe that when we do not respect our husbands, not only do we experience failure in our relationship, but we also cut ourselves off from new life.

Another example: Queen Vashti refused to respond to the king’s summons. The king was throwing a party in honor of his friends; he wanted to have fun and show off his beautiful wife of whom he was proud. All he expected from her was to dress in her royal garments, wear her crown, and make an appearance before the guests he had invited. She refused, knowing full well that it would humiliate her.

“But Queen Vashti refused to come when she received the order from the king’s eunuchs. And the king was very angry, and his anger burned” (Esther 1:12).

As a result, Vashti lost her position as queen. Not only did she wrong her husband, but also her family and friends, because a woman should not humiliate her husband, no matter how unworthy he may be of that respect. The price to pay is too high.

If this has ever happened to you, and you know that you have lacked respect for your husband, confess it to God right now. Say to Him:

“Lord, I confess that I do not have the regard for my husband that Your Word demands. There is a wall in my heart that I have erected as protection against the hurts I could suffer. But I am ready to tear it down so that You can heal my heart. I confess that I have lacked respect for him. I confess my attitude and my words by which I have sinned against You. Show me how to tear down this barrier in my emotions that wants to prevent me from manifesting that unconditional love that comes from You alone. Break down this wall of hardening that surrounds my heart and show me how to respect my husband as You desire. Give me a heart like Yours towards him, Lord, and help me to see him as You see him.”

Praying like this will free you and allow you to see the potential in this man: the greatness that God wants to give him instead of his faults. This will enable you to speak positive words to him that will encourage him, build him up, give him life, and improve your marriage. Love withers when we only focus on the negative aspects. Love grows when we focus on the positive.

When your attitude towards your husband is according to the heart of God, you then look at him with new eyes. There will still be times when you do not understand where your husband is coming from, what he is feeling, and why he acts as he does, unless God grants you His discernment. Ask God to grant you this grace.

When you pray for yourself (as his wife), remember the model that the Bible gives us of a good wife. We are told that she takes care of her household and manages it wisely. She knows when to buy and sell and make wise investments. She keeps herself healthy and dresses attractively. She works diligently and knows how to use her gifts. She gives generously while conscientiously preparing for the future. She contributes to her husband’s good reputation.

She is strong, solid, honorable, and not afraid of growing old. She speaks with wisdom and kindness. She does not remain idle but carefully watches over everything that happens in her household. Her children and her husband praise her. She does not rely on charm and beauty but knows that the fear of the Lord is the most attractive quality. She supports her husband and lives a rich and fruitful personal life that speaks for itself (Proverbs 31).

This woman is amazing. We can only resemble her through the capacity that God can grant us when we surrender to Him. Her portrait can be summarized by the fact that she is a woman in whom her husband fully trusts. Indeed, “

“She does him good, and not evil, all the days of his life” (Proverbs 31:12).

I believe that the greatest good a wife can do for her husband is to pray for him. Will we meet the challenge?

This text is an extract from the book “The Power Of A Praying Wife” written by Stormie Omartian.

We invite you to read the following article “A Wife’s Effective Prayer for Her Husband’s Work“.