“Yes, I have spoken without understanding…“ Job 42:3

The first common stumbling block is communication errors. We have seen how David’s communication mistakes had a significant impact on his sons.

One can communicate poorly and fail to be understood. One can also fail to communicate or, on the contrary, say too much. If people often tell us they didn’t understand our instructions, there is likely a problem in this area, and we should reflect on it.

“We could have imposed ourselves as apostles of Christ, but we were full of kindness among you. Just as a mother tenderly cares for her children, we wanted, in our deep affection for you, not only to share the Gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become so dear to us. (…) You also know that we treated each of you as a father treats his children: we encouraged, comforted, and urged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory.“ 1 Thessalonians 2:6-7, 11-12

The apostle Paul knew how to communicate, both in person and remotely using the means of his time. He wrote letters to the churches, instructing, correcting, and teaching them, and he asked that these letters be read before everyone. It is interesting to note in this passage that the mother gives her life, but it is the father who communicates. One must know how to communicate!

Good communication is a valuable asset for a spiritual leader. We must learn to communicate the vision, the tasks, the variations in the vision, and role changes. Otherwise, people will become frustrated and hurt. We cannot blindly pursue a vision while pushing people aside or crushing them when they inconvenience us. We must walk alongside them and help them move forward.

Some leaders have lost everything due to communication problems. Many of them believe it is a spiritual issue when, in reality, it is sometimes purely a natural one.

Some authors, such as Zig Ziglar and John Maxwell, are experts in communication. I have not necessarily taken the time to read their books, but I occasionally browse through them and find excellent principles. However, I know leaders who read them, apply their advice, and the results are truly inspiring.

I once advised a young pastor to read these books because I noticed he had enormous communication problems. However, he did not do so, believing that communication and leadership were not such important or spiritual topics. A few years later, after suffering the terrible consequences of his communication and leadership issues, he finally started reading them.

We may have grown up with relational deficiencies.
Perhaps we had an absent father or parents who did not talk to us, or who only spoke to reprimand us.
Ultimately, once we find ourselves in ministry, we assume a position of authority and act as they did. But God can teach us through His Word. We should truly pray for divine wisdom and understanding.

In Walk in Love 1, I explained Jethro’s lesson to Moses.
Jethro’s advice did not seem very spiritual, yet it was the guidance Moses needed to enter a new season. The great leader Moses had to accept the advice of a simple man—his father-in-law. He had to change and improve his way of managing and leading his ministry.

“If you follow my advice and God directs you, you will be able to endure, and all these people will arrive at their destination in peace.“ Exodus 18:23

May God grant us His discernment, wisdom, and understanding to recognize our faults, change, and apply what comes from Heaven!

Here are some common communication errors:

Assuming that others should automatically understand us

Sometimes we have no trouble expressing ourselves clearly, yet people still do not understand us. Reading the Gospel accounts, some passages may seem contradictory (such as the events following the resurrection), but this is because the same event can be experienced, narrated, and interpreted in different ways.

When we preach and speak to others, we may be convinced that we are understood simply because we have expressed ourselves well. We assume that what we have said is clear to others. However, like our listeners, our words reflect our perception of a matter, our personal beliefs (which may seem like the only valid ones), our experiences, values, education, personality, and background.

One person sees the glass as half full, while another sees it as half empty!
Did we truly explain things well, or did we simply state them as if our listeners were supposed to instinctively understand?
Did we explain what led us to perceive the matter as we do?

Making someone understand what we mean when we talk about the taste of a dish or the beauty of a landscape is not as simple as one might think. Did we explain what we feel, the education and experiences that shaped our words?

Yes, communication is not simple. Between:

• What I intended to say,
• What I actually said,
• How I said it,
• What I really meant to say,
• What the other person heard,
• What they understood,
• What they interpreted,
• What they will remember,
• And what they will later interpret from their memory…

…the difference can be night and day. So, between what I originally meant to say and what my listener will interpret based on their memory, the gap can be vast.

Understanding this principle should not necessarily push us to become communication experts, but at the very least, it should lead us to humility and patience in the face of our listeners’ potential misunderstandings…

This text is an excerpt from the book Walk in Love 2 written by Jérémy Sourdril.

We invite you to read the following article: “JUDGMENT ERRORS“.

COMMUNICATION ERRORS. COMMUNICATION ERRORS.