UNAVOWED SECRETS

I watched a television show with the theme of whether one should confess everything to their partner once a relationship begins. Many people ponder the same question: should we reveal everything in a relationship? What should we say, and what should we hide? These questions cross our minds when we contemplate starting a relationship.

Some have the courage to confess everything and let the other person decide whether to accept or reject what they want to build together, while others choose to remain silent, considering the past of little importance. This latter attitude is dangerous and leads to the loss of one partner’s trust and the destruction of the relationship after discovering an important aspect of life that the other had hidden. If you lied to me once, what proves that there are no other lies?

This question haunts everyone facing such a situation. Their thoughts are filled with uncertainty and doubt. Can you imagine being told that your partner has a 25-year-old child they never mentioned? What if you were informed that your spouse has been unfaithful all these years? For most of us, the pain would be immense, and the most common choice is separation. If someone claims to love you, they will accept you despite your past.

As for me, I believe that a strong relationship is first built on truth. None of us can build a genuine relationship on lies and expect it to last; it’s like constructing a house without a solid foundation. It won’t withstand the weather and the storms that come with rain.

OPPOSITE PERSONALITIES AND CHARACTERS

How do you communicate with a shy person? How do you handle a melancholic individual? How can you succeed in a relationship with an angry person? These questions reveal the challenges and hurdles we face every day. Personality is what distinguishes us from others.

Each human being has their own emotional, moral, and intellectual traits that set them apart from others. This means we can have completely opposing personalities and characters. These two factors do not make relationships easier.

We must learn to communicate, to understand the emotions of the person in front of us, which is not easy due to our lack of knowledge and sometimes patience. Different personalities can be a strength for all relationships, but they can also be a weakness if the involved parties don’t know how to handle these differences. Add to that the different negative or positive experiences each person goes through, which makes things even more complicated. Each of these experiences has profoundly altered our perception of relationships.

LACK OF RECIPROCITY

No relationship is possible without reciprocity. Unfortunately, the majority of our relationships are characterized by this issue. We often find this unbalanced equation in our relationships. We see one partner who is committed and giving their best to make the relationship work, while the other does little or nothing.

Reciprocity translates to both individuals being committed to giving their best to make their relationship work, whether it’s a romantic or a friendship. These efforts should be equal; it’s not about making comparisons, but having the same level of commitment is crucial. It’s sad to note that this isn’t always the case, and many couples and friendships have ended due to a lack of reciprocity.

(…)

This text is an excerpt from the book “THE BEAUTY AND DANGERS OF RELATIONSHIP” written by Clet N. MICKOLO.