At one point or another in our lives, we find ourselves faced—whether we like it or not—with a relational conflict. This conflict may be within the family, among friends, or simply in any kind of relationship. Much peace, time, energy, and money have been lost because of these kinds of conflicts. Let’s not allow all these things to be stolen from us!

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18

The apostle urges us to live at peace with everyone—if it is possible. That means there are situations where peace might not be possible. But it also says: “as far as it depends on you”—which means there is no situation where we should hold a grudge or stay in conflict when we have the power to change the situation. None at all.

This reminds me of a story that deeply impacted my life. When I was coming back to the Lord, a family held something against me. During a church meeting, the father of that family stood up, ready to punch me. Wanting to walk in peace, I went to ask their forgiveness—for something I hadn’t even done! But in response to my request, the mother shouted, “I will never forgive you!” All of this over a foolish comment I had supposedly made three years earlier! I had done everything I could, but this family chose not to walk in peace. Even years later, I sent them a letter to bless them, but I never received a reply.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23–24

This word from the Lord really calls us to love, humility, and the pursuit of peace. Did you notice that He said: “If your brother has something against you”—not “If you have something against your brother”? That means if we know someone has something against us in the church, we should go see them to seek peace. If that person doesn’t want to, then we are in the clear before the Lord, and we can walk with a clear conscience.

But if the person is willing to seek peace, then we have won our brother—glory to God! It’s amazing how people are willing to give money, but when it comes to fixing what God actually asks them to fix, they won’t do it. For many, it’s easier to give money and seek a form of holiness (thinking unconsciously: “I gave money, so I must be a good person”) than to resolve a conflict.

The Lord was clear: if you have a relational problem, go fix it—period. God doesn’t want money or worship that comes from a divided heart. If we try to resolve the problem and the other person refuses, then we’ve done our part.

However, there is a right way to go about it. Don’t approach the person full of yourself, trying to prove you’re right and keep the fight going. Go with a heart that seeks peace, even if it means not receiving forgiveness or an apology. Go filled with love and gentleness! Seek peace, as much as possible—that is, do it with all your heart!

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.” Romans 12:17

It may seem impossible to forgive or to seek peace, and you might say: “I’m not going to see them, I won’t talk to them anymore—so I’m not doing anything wrong.” But you’re holding on to bitterness and hatred! You’re repaying evil by doing nothing, by leaving things unresolved. Too many people walk through life every day carrying bags of unresolved relational problems on their backs—it’s such a shame!

This text is an excerpt from the book “365 Days at the Master’s Feet” written by several French-speaking authors, with Jérémy Sourdril as the main contributor.

We invite you to read the rest of the article here: “RELATIONAL PROBLEM (continued).”

RELATIONAL PROBLEM