“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29

Since the age of 9, my son Danny has been playing golf with my husband Dave and me. Although a good player at that age, he had a serious problem. He tended to only be happy if he played very well, but if he made a bad swing, he would get very angry and call himself all sorts of names: “What a fool, Danny! You do everything wrong!”

He felt like a good-for-nothing when he messed up. Negative remarks about him flew if everything wasn’t perfect. The devil tried to condemn Danny from a young age! As soon as we noticed this, Dave and I worked on it with him, so he would understand that it was a dangerous habit.

“Danny,” we would say, “saying such things about yourself does you no good. It also doesn’t benefit the people around you.”

This applies to each of us. Not only are we uncomfortable when we speak negatively about ourselves, but also the people who hear us speaking negatively about ourselves are embarrassed. In the next verse, Paul warns us not to allow ourselves polluted language or unworthy speech: “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God...” (Ephesians 4:30).

Apparently, such negativity grieves the Holy Spirit. It also afflicts our own spirit. God did not create us to speak or receive what is negative. That’s why nobody enjoys the company of a negative person. If someone who makes a mistake were to say, “I’m not thrilled about this mistake, but I’m learning, I’ll do better next time, thank God, I’m improving,” everyone would be edified. The person would maintain a good opinion of themselves, and those around them as well. They would take responsibility for their mistake without being negative or condemning themselves.

We should opt for this attitude and behavior. To teach Danny not to see himself negatively, I decided that when I made a bad swing, I would mimic his attitude so he would realize the extent of his reaction. So, at the first opportunity, I exclaimed, “What a fool, Joyce! You never do anything right!” Danny didn’t even hear it. I repeated it with great effort because it was very unpleasant for me, I didn’t even mean it, and just saying those words and hearing them saddened my spirit.

Power is in our mouth.

“For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:37

We feel condemned when we verbally demean ourselves. Let’s actively practice what Jesus taught in the Scriptures by speaking positively about ourselves, as this is the first step to our victory over insecurity. Never speak negatively about yourselves. Speak words that build you up – not words that weaken you.

Don’t give an inch.

“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead…” Philippians 3:13

God knows we are not perfect, but He wants us to strive to be. Let’s speak and act knowing that Jesus is alive and at work in our lives and that Jesus’ shed blood covers our mistakes, no matter how heavy they are…

This text is an excerpt from the book “How to Regain Confidence in Myself?” written by Joyce Meyer.

We invite you to read the following article “Celebrate the Positive.“

Perfection. Perfection. Perfection.